Colfax McLiverneck 352 Posted November 15, 2018 Attention, Pure Guava: I know. And now you know that I know. Meet me at the truck stop at midnight. Bring the corn. And if I see anyone that even looks like a cop, the squirrel gets it. 1 Share this post Link to post
Pure Guava 325 Posted November 16, 2018 Cops? What do you take me for, some sort of duplicitous scoundrel? A swindling blackguard out for a lock-em-up and free squirrel meat? No. No. No. The only cops I know are my partner of 20 years, Lieutenant Karlsson Joseph "Karjo" Vanderpump. And Sarge. And Detective Daveed in Cold Corn Cases. And Big Lou, Stevie Peppers, Jimbeldon, Skrewy Skeeve the Stuffed Up Steve in Homicide. And Pee-Pee Balloons, Georgie Porny, Gaga Lady, Fickle Frankle, Dick Trickle-Pickle, Prick Tickle-Drickle, Tick Prickle-Drick (no relation) in the CSI Lab, and the entire traffic department, all the rookies in the dunk tank awaiting dry towels and a chance at the big time, oh and Cat Patrolman, the cat cop with mad hops. But none of them are here. And that is irrelevant. Because it' s past midnight and I'm sitting on 30 cases of corn that ain't gonna be worth crack spit come sunrise, and the only squirrel I be seein' right now is the one I am looking at in my photos over and over again because I loves him and misses hims and needs to pet his squirrel nut face again PRONTO NOW ASAPEEEESH?  Share this post Link to post
Colfax McLiverneck 352 Posted November 16, 2018 Thunder. Nugget. Boston. Hemiola. Verbiage. Mint. Share this post Link to post
Pure Guava 325 Posted November 17, 2018 10 hours ago, Colfax McLiverneck said: Thunder. Nugget. Boston. Hemiola. Verbiage. Mint. So the squirrel squealed, surprise, surprise. You know what they say, behind every nut-filled cheek lays a tongue just waiting for a chance to wiggle. Well I'll make sure this squirrel's tongue's wiggle chances are on a one-way ticket to Dodo Town, with a layover in Dinosaur International, flying bullet to the forehead airlines  ::puts hand in vest where gun usually is:: ::as hand fishes around gun-less, squirrel starts laughing harder and harder:: Share this post Link to post
