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JacobCrites

The First Annual HDTGM Awards

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Most botched/doomed screenplay

 

 

This differse from plain old worst screenplay in that it recognizes screenplays with such a lame, misfired, or flawed premise that they never should have even gotten to the rough draft phase. A lot of bad movies start out with potentially good ideas that didn't work. This category celebrates the scripts that never had a praryer of being anything but terrible.

 

I'm talking something like Terminator Salvation where they made a list of what people wanted the next Terminator movie to be about, and the one they picked was "A 20th century death row inmate kisses a cancer patient then wakes up as a Terminator with a hear."

 

Or Pluto Nash deciding to make a world where owning a club is the most important thing in the world, and the greatest conflict is two rival club owners fighting it out. It was like they wanted to do Casablanca in space, but they didn't realize that Bogart caring about running a club was supposed to be the low point of his character arc.

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Has anyone suggested the category of "most dissappointing use of wigs" burlesque any cage film and so on. Also worst on screen romance has to be one of the categories mostly because all of the romances in these movies are for shit. Turkey sub and hubcap. Sandra bullock and steve. Ben affleck and jlo. The list goes on and on.

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Has anyone suggested the category of "most dissappointing use of wigs" burlesque any cage film and so on. Also worst on screen romance has to be one of the categories mostly because all of the romances in these movies are for shit. Turkey sub and hubcap. Sandra bullock and steve. Ben affleck and jlo. The list goes on and on.

 

That's a category that should ALSO be rigged so that Cage wins it every year. They need to cover "Face/Off" already, which he briefly sings in. "Best Musical Performance in a Film: Nicolas Cage for 'Face/Off' (1997)". There you go!

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Considering the idea that no one ever talks to themselves in a mirror has been brought up a few times, I was thinking something like Worst Dramatic Use Of A Mirror.

 

Also

 

Worst Dancer

Worst Best Friend

Worst Couple

 

I love the idea of The Nicolas Cage Lifetime Achievement Award. For this year (since it's obviously going to Nic Cage), maybe there could be a vote as to which HTDGM covered Nic Cage movie contains the Nic Cage-iest attributes that explain why this award was made and could therefore be the gold standard to which other performances are judged upon in the following Howdies/How-Didies/Literallys (I think Howdies is the way to go for the record).

 

"The 2012 Nicolas Cage Lifetime Achievement Award goes to....Nicolas Cage in [insert film]"

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Cage's multiple performances can be used as a checklist of criteria that it takes to win the Nicolas Cage Lifetime Achievement Award, because I'm sure that he's done SOMETHING in all of these films combined that inspired all of the other categories as well. Like if you looked hard enough, Cage could win every single award we come up with. This may be a controversial stance, but in the spirit of competition, I don't think think that the spirit of vengeance should even be nominated in any of the other categories since the Lifetime Achievement Award is basically a career highlight reel. Otherwise, we might have a clean sweep, and really, there are so many other performances that also deserve recognition. I'm totally going to self-like this comment!

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What about "Best Use of Child Endangerment" Old Dogs, Jingle All The Way and a few others would work in this category.

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How about "worst line"? [ex. "Why did the dinosaurs become extinct?]

 

Worst wardrobe

 

Worst "meet cute" scene

 

Most Unbelievable Character Profession

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How about "That's clucked up", the most ridiculous attempt to simulate the use of an expletive.

 

My personal favourite is "Funky buttlovin'". from Rookie of the Year, a phrase so strange that one of the characters immediately checks to confirm that he just heard the words "Funky buttlovin'".

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnVSR2oeXsU

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