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Grand Moff Talkin'

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  1. Grand Moff Talkin'

    Star Trek: Insurrection (1998)

    There are three HDTGM Trek films: Star Trek V: The Final Frontier aka the one where God bums a ride, Star Trek Into Darkness aka the one where Cumberbatch really was Khan and Star Trek: Insurrection aka the one where the aliens needed Starfleet to violate the Prime Directive for plastic surgery reasons. Paramount wanted a "funny Trek" and boy did they get it. This is the Trek movie from which we get the "Shake It So" meme Synopsis from IMDb: "When the crew of the Enterprise learn of a Federation conspiracy against the inhabitants of a unique planet, Captain Picard begins an open rebellion." Sounds straightforward but what we really got where a villainous, plastic surgery-obsessed alien race who all looked like Katherine Helmond in Brazil We got Picard CTRL+ALT+DELing Data by singing Gilber & Sullivan We got Troi and Beverly technically passing the Bechdel Test with this dialog: "Have you noticed your boobs have firmed up?" We got Riker shaving his beard, taking a bubble bath and using a video game joystick to fly the Enterprise. This movie is a collection of insane ideas.
  2. Grand Moff Talkin'

    Cellular (2004)

    It's on Netflix. Watching it now. It's so bad, I remember this coming out but never saw it. I feel 3 or 4 versions of this "I'm on the phone with a kidnap victim" genre have come out in the last decade. Didn't Halle Berry star in one?
  3. Grand Moff Talkin'

    Top Films of 2018

    I haven't seen a lot of the Oscar-bait films but I have a hard time seeing what could top Beale Street.
  4. Grand Moff Talkin'

    Top Films of 2018

    1 If Beale Street Could Talk 2 Black Panther 3 Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse 4 Avengers: Infinity War 5 Mission: Impossible -- Fallout 6 Crazy Rich Asians 7 To All the Boys I've Loved Before 8 Annihilation 9 Widows 10 Tully 11 Mandy 12 Ant-Man and the Wasp 13 The Meg 14 Game Night 15 A Star is Born 16 Bumblebee 17 Blockers 18 Ocean's Eight 19 Deadpool 2 20 Hearts Beat Loud 21 Solo 22 Incredibles 2 23 Hereditary
  5. Grand Moff Talkin'

    Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)

    "Let's read this Nicholas Sparks novel and then we'll go meet God."
  6. Laughing Vulcans. Row, row, row your boat. Triple-boobed cat aliens. Rocket boots. "What does God need with a starship?" Of all 13 Trek movies, this one is primed for HDTGM. Synopsis: A renegade Vulcan makes Kirk (William Shatner), Spock (Leonard Nimoy), McCoy (DeForest Kelley) and the Enterprise go to a planet at the center of the galaxy. The behind the scenes stuff is fascinating. Shatner's ego couldn't take the fact that Nimoy directed the previous two films so he demanded to direct their final film in the series. The film got caught up in the writer's strike and Shatner ran through the budget, leading to terrible reviews and box office, so much so the cast decided to come back for The Undiscovered Country so they could finish on a high note.
  7. Grand Moff Talkin'

    Kidnap (2017)

    This looks to be the new "Taken." Except that instead of Liam Neeson it's Halle Berry. And instead of taking place in Paris, it takes place in a Chrysler Town & Country. Kidnap
  8. Grand Moff Talkin'

    Chopping Mall (1986)

    This is streaming on Amazon Prime too!
  9. Grand Moff Talkin'

    The Wraith (1986)

    This is next week's movie and it's streaming on Netflix!
  10. Grand Moff Talkin'

    Episode 153 - Escape from L.A.: LIVE!

    Correction & Omission At the end of the podcast D'Arcy mentioned that if this film got made today it would probably work. Well, in 2012 there was a film produced by Luc Besson called Lockout starring Guy Pearce as Snow, a Plisskin-like ex soldier locked up for a crime he didn't commit who was promised a pardon in exchange for rescuing the president's daughter from an orbiting space station prison. It's really awesome. I call this a remake because John Carpenter sued Besson citing Lockout was a rip off of Escape from New York and a French judge ruled in Carpenter's favor and awarded him, the co-writer and studio $95,000. Well, Besson thought it was horseshit so he appealed. The appellate court not only upheld the previous judge, but upped the damages to $500,000! I saw Lockout in the theater and enjoyed it but it did seem like a lost Snake Plissken tale.
  11. Grand Moff Talkin'

    Perfect Blue vs. Paprika

    If we're talking vs., I'd go Prefect Blue vs. Millennium Actress instead of Paprika. I think Prefect Blue and Millennium Actress do a much better job of using Kon's "is this real?" storytelling to build suspense and tell a solid story. Paprika is pretty but I the story a little empty emotionally.
  12. Grand Moff Talkin'

    The Transformers: The Movie (1986)

    I saw this movie in theater on my 12th birthday and I gotta say, that's still in my top 5 best birthdays ever. I knew every single line of dialogue and could recite it (this is how we killed time on the bus before smartphones brought the internet to us). I owned the toys of Kupp, Rodimus Prime, Galvatron, Ultra Magnus and Blurr, even though they were much shittier toys than the original Transformers. I was pissed that the sexism that made Arcee the only female Transformer also made her pink and not a toy. I really wanted an Arcee toy. This movie was like someone at Hasbro watched Heavy Metal and said "let's do that" and that's why it's better than Bays movies.
  13. Grand Moff Talkin'

    Predestination (2014)

    I think this is a good candidate just to hear Paul's attempts to explain the plot to a very confused June and Jason.
  14. Grand Moff Talkin'

    Supernova (2000)

    This movie just appeared on Hulu. I think it's time to rewatch it.
  15. Grand Moff Talkin'

    Jem and The Holograms (2015)

    From io9's review, (titled "Jem and the Holograms Fails In A Way I've Never Seen A Film Movie Before") YouTube videos intercut with the film? That sounds pretty bad.