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Episode 14.5 — Minisode Fifteen

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At some point between Selena and American Idol, JLo began to fancy herself a comedian. This revelation blessed us with awful films like The Wedding Planner, Monster-in-Law, and this week's movie The Back-up Plan. Don't start making up excuses to miss this movie, unless of course you're going to send them in to be read on air. Enjoy and see you next week!

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My Back-up Plan: Sorry, I won't be able to watch 'The Back-up Plan,' guys. I'll be busy watching 'Gigli.'

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"I would love to go watch that movie with you, but I have an appointment for a coffee enema"

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I would go watch this movie but my entire family was murdered. (to make this legit I would then kill my entire family)

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Dude, what is going on with HDTGM? Last time I had to sit through Green Lantern and now The Back-Up Plan? There are SO many shitty movies to choose from that are actually fun to watch rather than these last two!

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Infallible back up plan: "I have to wash my dad's hair."

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Thanks but, I have to get on the 405 at 5pm to drive to the Valley. Rain check on "The Backup Plan"?

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I'd love to go, but I'm driving my OTHER girlfriend home from her abortion...

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My back up plan: Sorry I can't see The Back Up Plan, I still have to sit through The Green Lantern from the last episode of HDTGM

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My back up plan: I would say "I'm just gonna slip into something more comfortable," and then slip into a coma.

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My back-up plan: Find a time machine, go back to the 40s when The Back Up Plan producers' grandparents were teenagers, and kill Hitler, thus cementing The Back Up Plan's status as worst thing that ever happened.

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Oh, man, I'd love to go see The Back-up Plan with you, but you're a terrible human being.

Not really a back-up plan, but that's as far as the conversation would go.

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"Oh, sorry, I can't see The Back-up Plan with you, I have to go to a funeral. Who's funeral? I don't know yet, let me look in the obits, I'm sure SOMEBODY'S getting buried today."

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My back-up plan: 'Sorry, can't see this movie with you, I've slammed my balls in my car door, and locked my keys inside. I can see them right there on the seat, my keys... that is... And my balls.'

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My back up plan is to watch the porn version of Back Up Plan starring jennifer Blowpez called The Back Up That Ass Plan

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I should have had a back up plan to get out of seeing The Back Up Plan, but I had to see it . . . for work. Yes, my job made me see this movie. I work at a senior center and this was the movie chosen by another staff member for the seniors to go see. Unfortunately, this staff member was out sick the day of the trip, so it fell to me to take the seniors to the movie and see it with them. Think watching an unfunny J-Lo have sex in a room full of cheese is bad? Try watching it with a group of 6 elderly women old enough to be your grandmother. Not to mention the home birth scene. Uncomfortable!

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Back up plan: I absolutely cannot see the back-up plan, because my mom was killed by a large latino woman's ass, and anytime I see J-Lo it brings up horrible memories.

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Sorry, I have an appointment to get artificially inseminated that night and if all goes well I'll be meeting up with a single mothers support group. Yeah I'm a guy, and what do you mean I can't get inseminated!? What was this movie about again?

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I would love to see that movie with you but I just watched the trailer and now I have to put my head between my knees and quietly mutter "why, God, why?" over and over again.

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My backup plan: eat at an iffy seafood place, spend the movie's runtime in the bathroom with a concealed magazine.
Alternate (and less painful plan): booze.

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