the_muteKi

Screw this, screw that, all in a day's work for Norm Abram

Forget Florida Man, Heynong Man has the silliest superpower. Well, except for fucking Aquaman. Screw that guy!

Screw world peace, I want my MTV!

Check out my new 60s folk-rock/cereal jingle cover band, The Traveling Crunchberries

There's a fish crime in progress! Somebody call the carps!

In the immortal words of Friedrich Nietzsche, "God is a toad"

it takes a lot to cast a pod sometimes it takes an act of god put these guys behind a mic and they might make a thing you'll like and you've got too many episodes (too many episodes) too many episodes (too many episodes)

I dunno about the apple watch, but I know how to power a clock with a potato!

So excited for the party tonight that I just RSVP'd in my pants!

Welcome to an exciting new episode of Comedy Bang Bang! I'm your host, Scott Awkward Man. Wait, what? No, I'm Scott Auckermann! Wait, maybe I'm both.

The podcast you can listen to on a plane but can't talk about in the TSA checkpoint: It's Comedy Bang Bang

I like the Bernie Sanders character. The top 5% of his gags got 90% of the laughs from me. The way I see it, 99% of comedy is relative, the other 1% is jokes about statistics and percentages which are always 100% funny.