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Andrew Paulsen

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Everything posted by Andrew Paulsen

  1. No man is an island. Except for John Island.
  2. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, but it you got to exclude someone I would suggest the Polish.
  3. Two heads are better than one, but three butts is getting a little crazy.
  4. Who washes the washables?
  5. Every cloud has a copy of Silver Linings Playbook on DVD.
  6. Measure twice, cut once, congrats it's a boy.
  7. Yeah, sure, Seven Ate Nine, but Six watched and jerked off in the corner.
  8. 4 Skor and 7 Skor, I ate a 11 Skors.
  9. Don't bite the hand that feeds you, suck it's fingers slowly.
  10. Don't count your chickens before they hatch you're really bad at math.
  11. The early bird catches the worm, but he's always tired and the first to leave a party.
  12. Don't place all your eggs in one basket I just bought this really sweet bucket.
  13. A picture speaks a thousand words, but most of them are racial slurs.
  14. Sticks and stones may break my bones but I don't have health insurance.
  15. Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just Hypoglycemic?
  16. I'm pretty sure the guy and girl from that Len song "Steal My Sunshine" were brother and sister, which makes it really creepy to watch that music video now.
  17. If wishes were fishes, then I'd eat a fuck load of fishes.
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