Colfax McLiverneck

A woman's work is never done. If she ever suggests that it is, throw two cans of corn at her, and that's why she's got two black eyes! Get it!?

I approve of this post. But only if there's corn in it.

Anal beads made of acorns? Now that's an eco-friendly buttsex trend I can get BEHIND!

Profound and recursively-clever catchphrase with a spoonerism and an irrelevant reference to corn.

Breaking news! Creepalong Bob was ambushed near the hambush, and the ambushers absconded with his last bushel of corn relish. Details at six.

Just a grillin' some corn on my Andrew Lloyd Weber grill. Mmmmm, mmmm. Lookin' good!

Eenie meenie miny Moe, Larry, Curly and Corny, catch a tiger by has balls and ask him if he's somewhat horny!

Oh what a feeling when you're dancing on the ceiling and all the corn falls out of your pockets.

Let me be frank, Stallone, and I'll let you touch my hot buttered corn cob.

Corny the Dogman/Had a jolly weiner core/With an acorn cap and a butthole nose/And two eyes made out of fossilized microscopic Carboniferous lifeforms

A catchphrase without corn is like a day without sunshine.

I am Colfax McLiverneck, Transgender Corn Lord of the 93 Counties of Nebraska, Master of the 12th Annual Shucking Games, Regurgitator of Non-Corn-Flavored Foods, Devourer of Kernels, Champion of He Who Walks Between the Rows. The Iowans know me as Bob. The Missourians know me as Barb. I am known in the Soybean Industry as Cornpone the Avenger. And there may be other secret corn-themed names that even I myself do not know.

Pass the corn, Creepalong Bob. Stop staring at me and just pass the damn corn, jerkface.

No Heynong Man t-shirts available!?!? (Softly weeps into his cornbread.)

What's the difference between a can of corn and a boner? I don't have a can of corn right now.

Because he is outstanding in his field, Sir Bilious J. Cornbuster has been promoted to head scarecrow.

How much did the pirate pay for corn? A buck an ear!

If Creepalong Bob burns the cornbread one more time, I swear to god I'm moving to Canada!

Throw your rugs over your slugs, kids...it's time for the Corn Coberman Show!

Ask not what your corn tree can do for you—because corn trees don't exist, you reprehensible, botanically ignorant dummy!

Ep 51 was corntastic. And the new logo is sweet, much like the cornbread of my dreams. Long live PFT!

Cornscore and twenty microseconds ago, a gravitational wave the size of Iowa totally ruined what would have otherwise been a leisurely day of carp fishing.

What do we want!? Tang! When do we want it!? At 11:23, but only if the cornbread is done.

As Uncle Cornelius used to say, "Get the fuck ONTO my lawn, you contumacious whippersnappers."

It was said of Sir Slaytang that he would roam the rows between the corn, searching for a beaver that would never materialize.