Jump to content
🔒 The Earwolf Forums are closed Read more... ×

Colfax McLiverneck

  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


Everything posted by Colfax McLiverneck

  1. Yo mamma is so ugly she may be entitled to compensation
  2. In Soviet Russia, phrase catches you
  3. You can lead Jimmy to corn, but you can’t make him crack it
  4. Bang me once, shame on you. Bang me twice, that’s comedy!
  5. Now that we find ourselves hip-deep in the throes of Junebuggy, let us reflect upon the hidden numerological meaning of your mom’s zip code.
  6. Truck it, suck it, orange duck it. Ain’t technology marvelous?
  7. Comedy Bang Bang is made possible by the Sphincterius and Pissanthia Fucklestein Foundation.
  8. When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s profoundly distorted depth perception indicative of anterior ischemic optic neuropathy.
  9. I came here to chew bubblegum and replace “What’s up, Hot Dog?” with this catchphrase—and I’m all out of bubblegum.
  10. When the moon hits your eye like an upland Canadian heath, that’s a moor, eh?
  11. Comedy Bang Bang is made possible by the Dickbert and Colostima Turdknuckle Foundation.
  12. Some people call me the Space Cowboy, but I identify as the Space Cowthey.
  13. I like my cobbler like I like my cobbler—full of peaches and fixing my shoes.
  14. The following is a public service announcement from Earwolf: we are saddened to announce that Scott Auckerman, long time host of Comedy Bang Bang, is a poopy poopy fart face.
  15. On today’s Increasingly Diminutive Things Considered, we’ve got a small businessperson, an even smaller businessperson, and the tiniest businessperson of all.
  16. If we censors have offended, eat a dick and all is mended.
  17. Though it is neither August nor Christmas, we’d like to wish you a Holly Jolly Augie Doggie!
  18. Hark, Stout Yeoman of Hey Nong, what dost thou seek at the House of Hot Dog?
  19. In today’s episode, my guest lays out her three-phase plan for lasting peace between Particle Man and Person Man.
  20. Before we ask ourselves “What’s up, hot dog?”, we must answer the question “What IS hot dog?”
  21. Let me be forthright with you—if you take four rights, it’s the same as just going straight.
  22. Last Columbus Day I gave you my heart and the very next day you gave my whole family smallpox
  23. Da da dum dum dum, hot doggin’ it
  24. Ain’t no party like a lion-man-scorpion party ‘cause a lion-man-scorpion corn party is Manticory
  25. Never gonna stroke you up never gonna stroke you down YOU JUST GOT DICKROLLED BITCHES