Colfax McLiverneck

Do you relish corn relish like I relish corn relish? If so, pull up a stump, neighbor!

(could use a bit more corn, though)

I hereby withdraw all of my previous catchphrases in deference to this perfect statement. (kneeling in reverence)

Introducing the all-new Comedy Bang! Bang! mascot, the Corndogburglar, and his signature catchphrase "Gimme dat gimme dat gimme dat corndog, man!"

That dog won't hunt corn, cause corn don't run, honey bun.

Uncle Scott's corn crib. You will never find a more wretched hive of recursive skullduggery.

Friends, Californians, Americans, lend me your corn. All of it.

nom nom nom nom

It's been a long time coming, this river of frozen creamed corn. Jizz!

A tussle, a tassel, a basket full of wrasslin' vassals, I wrote a letter to Aunt Jemima and lost my virginity to yo mamma.

We must come together as a nation and rain fiery corn down upon the heads of our frenemies.

It was said of Sir Suggestible that he would listen to even the tiniest kernels for shucking advise.

Well that's just corntastic, Scott. How are we going to explain this to the Lord Jesus Christ?

Better the cornbread you know than the cornbread you don't, right Mr. Greenjeans?

Exit life. Enter night. Take my hand, Corn Coberman.

"Things that irritate me: people that think their dog is a person; people that refer to a professional sports team as 'We'; and racists." - Brian Posehn

Cosby put corn in my soup, and now it hurts in my naughty place.

Oh fair green fields of Nebraska, lend me your ears. They're so yummy, mummy.

If corn is the answer, what's the question? Of course, it's "What's yellow and lives on a cob?", you dummies.

While picking the kernels out of my turdles, the angel of the lord came upon me.

The children of the corn ain't got nothin' on the offspring of the buffalo wing.

They ain't no sympin' in tha muddafuckin' pimpin—even the creamiest of corn knows that.

Dear sweet fat baby Uncle Jessie, please bless this cornbread and help us enjoy it like the malodorous, salivating heathens that we are. Amen-nong, man.

Ring around the wookie, a pocket full of corned beef, licorice, snatches, we all order nachos.

Let us hereby resolve in the upcorning year to womp it good, womp it womp it REAL good.