Colfax McLiverneck

This has been a test of the emergency cod-blast system; had this been a real emergency, you would have been pummelled with actual fish.

Desperate mimes call for desperate feathers. I know this because tickling homeless street performers is my hobby.

Hot log is the new hot dog.

This show is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma, surrounded by three to five idiots.

Captain’s log: firm, chestnut brown, with flecks of corn and a robustly disgusting aroma. Very good—you may return to the bridge, Sir.

If Vulcan were a planet of poop, would Spock have been scatological?

What plops down stairs / Dark brown and with hairs / Gets eaten by random dogs / What sucks for a snack / And stinks up your crack / It’s NEW Hot Log!

Here at Comedy Bang Bang, we have a Gaping Cornhole policy

Ain’t no party like a lion-man-scorpion party ‘cause a lion-man-scorpion corn party is Manticory

When a big pizza pie hits your eye like the moon, that’s dyslexia

I’ll have the Five-Hatted Corn, a Block of Low Meat, and the Warm Detroit Salad. And water with a slice of potato.

Incline. Bereft. Nominal. Cornfisher. Endear. Redoubt.

Well I’m runnin’ down the road tryin’ to loosen my load ‘cause the creamed corn/cod liver oil preparation just ain’t doin’ the job

A catchphrase without corn is like a day without sunshine without corn

David Ogden Stiers. A bucket of cornflower crayons. Page 117 of “Stranger in a Strange Land”. Coincidence? I think not.

Throw your beach towels over your screech owls, kids—it's time for the Corn Coberman Show!

It was a moist and corny night

Ain’t no corn syrup like high-fructose corn syrup cause high-fructose corn syrup has the most fructose

Me and Doris Peachman huffin’ nail gloss down at Cornwell’s Notch

A dark and odiferous day indeed.

Comedy equals tragedy plus a fart joke

Prevaricate. Moment. Killdeer. Prehensile. Cornea. Beryllium.

Among the things which cannot be denied is this—if thou thinks corn be undelicious, my ass thou mayest kiss.

You think that’s bad, try living with prolapsed cornhusk ear

Roses are red, corn is yellow, spoiler alert: Jay Davidson’s a fellow