Colfax McLiverneck

Ball gags and lipstick and KY and latex, bull whips and nylons and vise grips and spandex, old barbed wire corsets and ratcheting rings, these are a few of my favourite things

We are jowls-deep in the throes of Novembaroney, so here’s a wholesome helping of content-rich baloney!

Mrs. Claus. The Suriname Papers. A catfish skull. Coincidence? I think not.

A turducken is a duck stuffed into a chicken stuffed into a turkey stuffed into a cruel and horrible world that the universe would be better off without.

What if I told you that Carmen and Waldo were g-g-g-ghosts THE WHOLE TIME

Ain’t no party like an existential party ‘cause an existential party may or may not happen

More like Elf on your mom.

Next on One Thing Considered, we talk to another small business person!

Hey is for horse. Nong is for man.

How much cyclohexylisocyanate would a tardigrade fabricate if a tardigrade could fabricate cyclohexylisocyanate?

Fee Fi Fo Fum I smell an unfunny catchphrase with no logical ending

If you follow the skrilla you’ll find that Phyllis Diller was the original Thriller

If had known it was going to be this kind of Graveyard Smash, I would've stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes

Hey, hey, heyyy, what you want, but don’t nong mans with my affection

I’ll allow it.

A good man is hard to heynong.

Iambic pooptameter

Ain’t no party like a double-negative party 'cause a double-negative party don't have no end.

I see, said the blind man as he lied about being able to see.

There are some things money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s money.

™

Chapter the Twenty-Seventh: In Which The Mysterious American Known as Flabby Steve Inveigles Lady Murgatroyd Into a Scandalous Rendezvous and Is Stabbed by Her Jealous Husband Lord Fourvel the Fifth

Your mother was a hamster, and your father was a hamster. That makes you a hamster too, my dear boy—and that is why we must exile you from Gerbiltown.

If I’ve said it once, now I’ve said it three times.

T. Ennis Fisk the iniquitous polygamist failed to resist his cryptic misstress' libidinous kisses and mistakenly whisked his catfishing sis into incestuous marital bliss.