Colfax McLiverneck

Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise, this minor tributary will continue to discharge water at its current level and we can attribute it to divine intervention.

Fiddle me this, Bluegrass Batman!

More like banj-no.

Today on Fresh Air, we open a window because somebody farted!

Next on One Thing Considered, we continue considering corn.

Coming up at midnight, it’s the BBC World Service—now with less World!

Me and Colby Mudfart smackin’ oysters down at Deadtooth Beach

Me and Goober Lognuts rubbin’ pigeons down at Humpneck Park

Me and Whippy Dipsnatch slingin’ wormfood down at Tubby’s Notch

Welcome to Cornedy Cob Cob—I’m your host, Silky B. Cornstache. On today’s show we’ll be considering the age-old question—to cream or not to cream?

On today’s show, it’s Weird Al’s cousin Regular Hal Grabovic, who only speaks Croatian and tends to be a little handsy, sooooo

The only podcast to hold an Honorary Doctorate in Rhetorical Scatology from The University of Shartford-on-Poopshire.

Here at Comedy Bang Bang, we have an “Open Hole” policy. Yes, it is that kind of show.

The world’s longest podcast? False. Colfax’s Celebrity Corncast started inside my head in 1984 and has NEVER STOPPED.

Pharyngeal diphthong. Alveolar fricative. Dentolabial sibilant. This has been Sexy Phonetics with your host, Hott Linguistman.

Don’t piss on my boots and tell me it’s raining unless you’re a dog in which case the pissing is excusable because holy shit you’re a talking dog!

Umbrella… I’ve just met a girl named Umbrella... and suddenly I’ve found how beautiful a girl named after a collapsible handheld rain shelter can be...

Don’t piss on my boots OR tell me it’s raining—the former is disgusting and the latter is obvious.

(that's what she said)

"The ceiling." - Hot Dog

What’s hot dog?

There was a young man from Savannah / Who ate everything but bananas / He said with a grimace / As the Grimace walked in and started force-feeding him bananas / “Stop it, dad! You know I’m allergic to bananas!!” (And then he perished.)

Don’t piss on my boots and tell me it’s raining—but an umbrella would be nice, you disgusting pig.

I’m elastic and you’re adhesive so your hurtful invectives rebound off my protective exterior and affix themselves to your stupid glue-face.

Let’s all go to the lobby, let’s all go to the lobby—have you ever noticed that lobby is a really weird-sounding word? Say it with me. Lobby. Lobby. Lobby. Lobby. Lobby. Looooobbbbbby. Lobby.