Colfax McLiverneck

Talkest Thou INXS In Excess, Princess?

This is a catchphrase read by an idiot, referencing corn, signifying nothing.

One, two, three, four / What the hell’s a stevedore? / Beans on toast, beans on toast / Throw ‘em in the trash!

The titular host of this podcast would like to remain eponymous.

Ranked #1 on USA Today’s “Podcasts With the Texture But Not the Taste of Smegma” Reader’s Choice Poll

A long horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “You have a typically long face for a horse, but why is your horse body so abnormally long?”

Recipient of snakehandlingevangelists.com's “Most Likely to Get the Bitey End” award

I don't know half of you; and I dislike the other half of you. Anyway, I’m the fugoudda here.

All joking aside, I’ll have the corn salad with extra corn.

If Tom Green’s Backward Man had eyes in the back of his head, he wouldn’t be able to see where he was going, and that would be even funnier.

“Let’s turn that frown upside down!” should have been the tagline for Face/Off

Are You There, God? It’s Me, the guy that took your name in vain when I slammed by wee-wee in the shower door.

On today’s show, Denmark’s leading corn porn magnate, Bjorn Throbinson!

“Cumbersome” is a song. Citation needed.

Where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Where there’s fire, there’s heat. Where there’s Heat, there’s Shaq the Very Large Pyromaniacal Basketball Person.

We’re going to hell in a handbasket, but first I’m going to the farmer’s market with this hand-crafted artisanal locally-sourced non-GMO hemp basket.

Barfshart®

We choose to go to the moon not because it is easy—we go because we are hard, and we’ve already fucked this planet.

Your ass. A hole in the ground. Is there a difference? Discuss.

If life gives you lemonade, then, like, drink it or whatever.

Theoretically, of course.

A nonfinite holomorphic vector bundle and an orthogonal Riemann manifold walk through a bar together at different times without entering it.

And now it’s time for a little something we call HUGS!

What are we going to to this week, Scott? The same thing we do every week, Jason—make fart jokes and talk to an entrepreneur.

She sold seashells by the seashore until Shoshana’s Seaside Sundry Shack subverted her scheme by selling shinier seashells at substantial savings.