Colfax McLiverneck

I came here to sling tent and crack corn—and I’m all out of corn.

If I’ve told you once I’ve told you a thousand times—count to a thousand, and don’t stop until you get to 999.

Baron Jamiroquai von Whimplesnatch cracked corn, and I don’t care.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to make corny poop jokes and invent characters with names like “Ronaldo Von Pukebuckets”.

D-I-N-G-O, D-I-N-G-O, D-I-N-G-O, the dingo ate my granny

What in the sweet cornhole-lovin’ knuckle-balled wormfood-dispensin' Jesus bobblehead is this show anyway?!

I reluctantly perused your categorically scatalogical mixology encyclopedia and found it to be infused with unacceptable excremental daiquiri wackery.

Jimmy snapped, cracked, and popped corn and Kellog filed a lawsuit.

For centuries, humanity has struggled with the question “What's the meaning of life?” Finally, on today’s show, we make fart jokes for two hours.

YES. A fine catchphrase indeed.

Now in one ep of pod we will use the words to sling a tent and much funny will happening and a character persons so then the bag of plug.

On today’s ep, we’ve got almost-dead priest Father Rottie McGangrene and the lil’est guest ever, Miss Itty Wee Bitsums!

You say titular, you say eponymous, and I say you can both shut the fuck off because they have categorically distinct etymologies and meanings.

Never look a gift smash in the mouth.

When the corn sits out too long / You must crack it / When no one cares at all / Jimmy cracks it

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, “Why the long face?” Horse says, “It’s an evolutionary trait selected to maximize air intake while running.”

He vends discarded mollusk carapaces over near the burning landfill.

A duck walks into a bar and says “Can I have some corn?” and the bartender nails his beak to the bar.

Entrepreneur? I barely know her preneur!

The titular character of this podcast would like to remain eponymous.

Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer, and keep Glenn Close in the foyer between the ficus tree and the umbrella stand.

In the land of the cornless, the one-eared man is king.

Oh, wow. This is a very special ep. The finale is a Tour de Force of improvised musical ridiculousness!!

I came here to crack corn and not care, and I’m all out of corn.

Your mom sells seashells by the ho-shore.