Colfax McLiverneck

I’m as nervous as a long-tailed whore in a church full of rocking chairs.

Johnny planted apple tree and I don’t care.

Found only in the storm drains of downtown Baton Rouge, the reclusive Corncob Crab has but one natural predator—Maria “Bam Bam Crab Ma’am” Bamford.

Endemic to the smoldering calderas of Ecuador, the Andean Corn Salamander has only one natural predator—Tom “The Salamander Hammer” Bodett

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here, and also put your phones in these little lockable mesh bags and sign this non-disclosure agreement.

Emulsified corn gel, check. Wood duck hackle, check. Iron Maiden’s Powerslave on vinyl, check. Clean underwear, check. Let’s get this podcast started!

On today’s show, original catchphrase superstar Jesus Christ reveals his pre-shampoo-era hair-care secrets!

Jimmy smoked crack corn and now he lives in a garbage can.

Found only in the frigid tundra of the Yukon, the elusive Burrowing Corn Owl has only one natural predator—LL “The Burrowing Corn Owl Smasher” Cool J.

Conceding to the committee conclusions concerning the creamed corn crisis, the county clerk has committed copious cash to the counter the catastrophe.

Found only in the vast savannah of Georgia, the elusive Corn Toad has only one natural predator—Zombie Walter “The Corn Toad Destroyer” Matthau.

You can lead a Jimmy to corn, but you can’t make him crack it.

RU talkin’ RuPaul’s rumored rural rugrats Ruth and Rufus 2 me?

Out in the West LA town of Pomona / I fell in love with a Mexican plant geneticist developing sentient corn for seemingly nefarious purposes

Found only in the dark abyss of the mid-Pacific trench, the elusive blind Cornfish has but one natural predator—James “The Cornfish Killer” Cameron.

Why? Why? This was one of the funniest shows on Earwolf!

If mathematician Jeremy Piven’s Al Gore-rhythm is a given, can Larry Niven’s pigeon hen be forgiven for eating my cayenne-endive madeleine?

Schrodinger’s Cat, Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle, and Zeno’s Paradox walk into a bar. The bartender says “Fuck this shit,” and quits.

Ring around the cornfield / A farm full of crop circles / Aliens, still-alive Phoenix brother / We all hate-love Mel Gibson

Is the past tense of catchphrase catchphrased or catchphrose? We may never know unless I decide right now. Catchphrose. It’s catchphrose.

Undaunted, he catchphrased on, balls to the wind, back to his subcompact SUV, into the infinite cornfields of the Nebraska sector.

To all the tent I’ve slung before/That’s travelled in and out my hole/I’m glad you came along/I dedicate this song/To all the tent I’ve slung before

homina hominy homonym homina hominy homonym homina hominy homonym

JIM-eeeee / You don’t have to crack that corn tonight

On today’s show, the author of Scott Aukerman’s autobiography, “Slingin’ Tent: The Scott Auckerman Story”—it’s Scott Auckerman!