Colfax McLiverneck

Well I’m running down the road tryin’ to loosen my load—annnnd there it goes. Note to self: no prune & corn oil smoothies before morning run.

What’s up, extruded phallic emulsion of mechanically separated pork & chicken meat, high-fructose corn syrup, water, salt, and sodium nitrate?

Captain’s log, Stardate 2344.7: The ship’s doctor is baffled by the epidemic on planet Berylus 3—it seems that he can’t see de forest for de trees.

That's a great question! Colfax is an olde English name from the Viscountess of Piddle Upon Colfaxford, and McLiverneck means “corn” in Armenian.

After consulting with my haberdasher, I have determined that this entire ep is a classic case of CSLC—chapeau sur le chapeau.

4th floor: Delicates, Fragrances, Hats. 5th floor: Candies, Enamelware, Cracked Corn. Sir, this is your floor. Sir. Sir? Jimmy! Off the elevator!

I’ll have the bottomless corn ceviche and the topless Rodney Dangerfield’s decaying corpse. And unsweetened iced tea with a straw.

New No-No: never no New No-Nos

gavel gavel gavel ORDER IN THE FORUM

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, it has been alleged that Jimmy cracked corn. But in fact it was THAT MAN—Vernon “Corncracker” Villalobos!

That's a different story altogether, my dear boy.

Never look a gift cat in the butthole.

Seriously, though—what’s up with corn dogs? Where’s the corn? Where’s the dog?

Jemeniah Sellemander. Yes.

It’s Monday, March 5th, birthday of magicians Penn Jillette and Joel Osteen!

Mayans do it / Aztecs do it / Even educated Olmecs do it / Let's do it / Let's grow some corn

A bird in the hand is worth two herrings in the shrubbery.

I eat my corn one ear at a time just like the plebes.

Trigger warning! Roy Rogers’ horse is dead.

Your corn silo is quite phallic, Farmer Johnson. Compensate much?

There’s less than one way to skin Schrodinger's cat.

Obligatory corn-themed catchphrase.

According to the official Earwolf Style Guide, there are two kinds of Comedy: 1) Bang, and 2) please refer to number one.

Alveolar fricative. Dentolabial sibilant. Pharyngeal diphthong. This has been Sexy Phonetics with your host, Cunning Linguistman.

I’ll have the nut-crusted blister biscuits with coagulated lemongrass-lymph risotto, hair-infused daikon pudding, and a side of cold corn.