Colfax McLiverneck

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang, the only podcast that jumps the shark on porpoise!

Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer, and keep Glenn Close over by the ficus tree to the left of the front door next to the umbrella rack

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, and you can pick your friend’s nose, but only if she’s into that kind of thing

And now an hour of complete silence incessantly interrupted by some guy named Scott talking to interesting people andthenalittlesomethingwecallplugs

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang—the show where we talk to ingratiating peckerwoods.

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang—the show where we talk to intolerable piscatarians.

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang—the show where we talk to insouciant perverts.

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang—the show where we talk to inverted pentagrams.

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang—the show where we talk to immolated potentates.

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang—the show where we talk to insufferable peons.

Remember that scene from your cooking show where you rubbed the cheese against the metal grid? That was grate.

He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists that proper copper coffee pots and rubber baby buggy bumpers are great gifts for ghosts.

On today’s show, we talk to Captain P. Usher Brown, of Northern Ohio’s most iconic 19th-century watercraft, the USS Cleveland Steamer.

Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men. But you’re gonna need much bigger hooks.

I’m going to have a nice warm mug of creamed corn and pretend I didn’t hear what you just said.

Green grass, you say? And pretty girls? Sure, I wanna go. But can you take me down? My car’s in the shop.

This is my new second favorite thing in the world. After a certain large domesticated yellow food-grain first, of course.

Like a steaming spoonful of hot buttered creamed corn on a cold Nebraska morning, this has the potential for greatness.

I tells it like I sees it, and I sees bees, trees, and cheezits.

That’s right, get those five hundos right up in there—annnnnd snap ‘em off!

My official review of episode 500: I guess it was okay—but it could have used more corn. Like any corn at all? Two stars.

If horses were wishes, beggars would still have nothing.

If wishes were horses and horses were corn, I’d be the happiest redneck in Nebraska!

If wishes were horses, the average beggar would have a logistical nightmare of livestock inventory on hand.

Mucho grande hahas to this ep! I love that Scott always gets mad at Brendon no matter what character he does.