Colfax McLiverneck

Official CBB announcement: Hot Log is the new Hey Nong.

Mr. Bacon? Mr. Bacon? Mr. Bacon?

This is a riddle, BTW. The first person to solve it will have his next catchphrase read on Comedy Bang Bang (if Scott picks it).

Cornzinga!

Froggie went a-courtin' and he did ride, corn blade and pistol by his side, mm-hm. Some folks call it a tobaccy blade, I call it a corn blade, mm-hm.

Heynong, dugong.

The heart of rock and roll is still beating...in the silence, it elicits within me a dread terror! ‘Twas me! I did the deed! Why? I wanted a new drug!

Welcome to Comedy Corned Beef Bagel Bang—I’m your host, Miracle Whippleman.

The next time you go, will you take me down? But only if there's corn. Surely there's corn in Paradise City.

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a blah for a blah—this is boring. Let’s up the stakes. I’ll give you a toe for a boob.

James fractured maize, and it matters not to me.

I’m as busy as a one-legged man in a gnawing-your-one-remaining-leg-off contest.

It’s 3:22am. Creepalong Bob is standing outside your open window, staring at you and flossing his dark green incisors with a strand of corn silk. What do you do? If you scream and throw your cat Mr. Gapers through the window, turn to CaptPukeFish’s next catchphrase. If you shit yourself and hide under the covers, turn to thevoblex’s next catchphrase.

Hear, hear, I say!

As Iowa’s most feared mob enforcer, Bob “The Cob” Gobaldi was known for his signature “Cedar Rapids Slow Death”.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Milton the Onomatopoeic Insulter. Milton the Onomatopoeic Insulter who? Yo momma’s a fat moo cow whore MOOO! MOOOOO!!

And furthermore, what kind of plebian name is Auckerman? Were your forbears purveyors of auckers? Or were they penguins? I bet they were penguins.

How dare you impugn my family name, Mr. Auckerman! The McLivernecks came over from Scottish Montenegro on the Cornflower in 1621!!

Colfax’s Paradox: If you go back in time and stop corn from being domesticated by ancient méso-américains, this catchphrase does not exist.

Why yes, I am the Colonel. But you can call me El Colon.

Well my name is Corny Cornhole and I’m here to say / Yo mamma likes my Corn Cob in special way

Wrong answer.

If “Can you name something yellow and delicious?” is the answer to the question “If corn is the answer, then what is the question?”, then what is the answer to the question “If ‘If “Can you name something yellow and delicious?” is the answer to the question “If corn is the answer, then what is the question?” is the answer, then what is the question?‘ ”

First I was afraid I was petrified, then I realized I was just ossified and stuck in a dead-end gig as a David S. Pumpkins backup dancer.

If you love corn and you know it shake your ears / If you love corn and you know it shake your ears / If you love corn and you know it then your turds will surely show it / If you love corn and you know it shake your ears