Colfax McLiverneck

Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, and I will look for you, I will find you, and I will make you pancakes.

It’s a classic ACB—Acronym Callout Bit.

Only the most perceptive of catchphrase readers will understand what this catchphrase really means.

The Mayans did it, the Aztecs did it—even educated Olmecs did it. Let's do it. Let's grow some corn.

If auld langed syne and syne never langed back, does that mean he forgot?

Ring around the butthole, a pocket full of corned beef, licorice, peanuts, we all order nachos.

BBBBONUS! I LLLLIKE APPLE TREE YYYYESSSS

Catchphrases are a dime a dozen. And this one was worth the whole 8.33333333333333 cents.

Of all possible catchphrases why in Hades did I choose to read this one?

I can see myself selecting this catchphrase. I can hear myself reading this catchphrase. I can feel you lightly stroking my cheek with this catchphrase.

To make a long holiday short: Twas the night before whatever and to all a good night.

Pistol shrimp’s gimbal grips made thimble tent’s tremble bits dimple vents on whimple’s gents.

Wreck my balls with cows of golly la la la la la la la la la

Let’s all go to the lobby/Let’s all go to the lobby/Let’s all go to the lobby/And solve the differential equation on the chalkboard so we can bang Minnie Driver

I’ve got a horse in the race, skin in the game, and my balls are in your court. Can you please have the bailiff drop them off in my office? Yes, in the testicle-shaped receptacle on my desk. Thanks, your honor.

Let’s all go to the lobby/Let’s all go to the lobby/Let’s all go to the lobby/And find the sumbitch that keeps splicing scenes from Eyes Wide Shut into this Pixar penguin movie.

Sir Slaytang slings tent down by the Slut Shop.

On today’s show, it’s Kangaroo Randy’s Rodeo Clam and his sidekick Koala Rudy, Kangaroo Randy’s Rodeo Clam’s adorable koala-shaped sidekick!

Mr. Greenjeans ain’t got nothin' on Captain Brownpants.

Lawd, can I get a witness! Seriously, is there a notary public on this plane? I’m trying to sign over my soul here.

Approximately 17% of moths are left-handed. What does this mean for you? You’ll be shocked when you find out!

After an 86-year investigation, we’ve concluded that it was actually right-handed moths that ate the painting.

A left-handed moth, a defective parachute, and an elephant wearing pajamas walk into a bar.

I like boobie tree.

Let sleeping dogs lie, Kyle, and please put that cat back in the bag. It’s going to track dog blood everywhere.