Colfax McLiverneck

If Auld lang Syne, and Syne never called back, should Auld just give up and enjoy a nice cob of corn?

Thank you! "A bit much" is my specialty. I'm working on "too much" and "wow, that's waaaay too much", but it's taking some time to hone my technique.

Throw your veils over your snails, kids—it's time for the Corn Coberman Show!

A long time ago, in a cornfield far, far away, a hoedown went way, way too far with the hoe thing.

What's up, Cornelius?

Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was a moocow coming down along the road with a can of corn tied to her tail and then we all went to the blues traveler concert and a very good blues traveler concert it was

Throw your sails over your whales, kids—it's time for the Corn Coberman Show!

Throw your tarps over your carps, kids—it's time for the Corn Coberman Show!

There are 900 ways to prepare a proper cornloaf, and this ain't one of 'em.

Throw your crosshatches over your nuthatches, kids—it's time for the Corn Coberman Show!

Fly me to the moon—and if there's corn, leave me there.

Well, look what the corn dragged in!

Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did bathe in the creamed corn, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, y'all!

Has anyone noticed the 800-pound dump in the room?

Stop disappointing America and start thumping your corn-balls, Cousin Willie.

Imagine there's no cornbread, It's easy if you try, No hominy below us, Above us only pie.

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder; I say that an abscess makes a corn shart farther.

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder; I say that an abscess makes a shart shoot corn farther.

On a warm summer's eve, on a train bound for nowhere, 400,000 bushels of corn dreamt of finally getting away from it all.

The groveling mongrel hovers above the grimy hovel, wondering if hungry Fourvel will get gravely stabby. And also, there will be corn.

Exclusive non-corn-themed catchphrase! There are some things that money can't buy. For everything else, there are all the things that CAN buy what money can't buy, like blackmail, extortion, and robbery.

That’s no moon! It’s a spherical can of creamed corn with an equatorial rotation velocity of 4.6 meters per second! Obviously, you need a better telescope.

I have Ho-Ho (ho-ho). Bring nine cans of creamed corn to the Old Mill bridge at midnight. Your Xmas Ho-tacular hangs in the balance. And no funny stuff!

Oh yeah? And what are you doing to do about it, Ho-Ho? Assimilate my mitochondrial DNA via horizontal gene transfer!? You just try it!! (ho-ho)

Froggie went a-courtin' and he did ride, Kaiser blade and pistol by his side, mm-hm, mm-hm. Some folks call it a sling blade, I call it a kaiser blade. Mm-hm.