Colfax McLiverneck

Jiminy Cricket cracked corn and I don’t care if my dreams come true.

Kevin kicked off his Sunday shoes and danced. The man in the corner made him dance. The wind howled outside. The man threw a corn cob on the fire.

I am Cornholio Villalobos, and I need TP para mi culo.

A catchphrase without corn is like a day without sunshine without corn.

I’m rubber and you’re glue. No, wait—I’ll be glue this time, and you be slingshot and five pounds of dried corn.

Hi, I’m one-named podcast phenom Squawckerman, and on today’s show we’ve got Latvian corn magnate Pablo Snotrocket!

And now it’s time for a little something we like to call “corn”.

Indeed, those are the corn-sequences of insulting my intrepid family's unimpeachable legacy.

Continued disparagement of the McLiverneck name on this so-called “comedy show” will result in the discontinuation of all corn-related catchphrases.

Cousin Jarvis McLiverneck left the family corn business to start a bean farm. He’s become “musical fruity” if you know what I mean.

Sure, Tooth of the Sea makes a great ep title, I guess. Perhaps there were no corn-related terms in the guests’ lexicons. Or Scott’s. But whatever.

Well ain’t that the bee’s knees! Ain’t it? Hold it a little closer...it’s so tiny. Now give me my loupe. Annnnd, it looks like...nope. It ain’t.

Really, Jimmy? There are much easier ways to crack corn than with DYN-O-MITE.

Why is it that between the paddywhacking and the rolling home of the old man, the dog must be given a bone? Sounds rather silly, if you ask me.

Unless you corn her right, that is.

Talladega, Alabama. Breaking: Race car driver Bruce Crabsmash has added Hot Log Consulting and Corn Syndicates Amalgamated to his stable of sponsors.

She sells seal tails by the PETA store. Terrible.

I am the one who walks behind the rows. Can you hand me a roll of toilet paper?

It's because there's no corn.

"We've got a real cornburner here, folks." - Mark

And on the fourth day, The Lord raised Scottrick from the grave and said unto him, “Pluckest thou from that tree over there a stick and poke thyself in the eye with it while jumping around on one leg and singing 'Let The Bodies Hit The Floor' in Hungarian.” And Scottrick did as he was bidden, and The Lord did laugh until the heavens boomed with His Voice, and then He did smite Scottrick dead again after He ceased to be amused, which was all of like 45 seconds.

Captain’s Hot Log, Stardate 2377: Having exited the Black Hole of Cornyrectus Nine, we’ve set course for the legendary TP Nebula.

Having permanently replaced Scott as CBB host, Jason puts his feet up on the table and pops the top on a cold can of Hot Log.

I’ll have the Corn-Studded Hot Log with Gravel Chip Nut Whip and a side of Lumpy Slab Chunk Scoopers.

What plops down stairs / Dark brown and with hairs / Gets eaten by random dogs / What sucks for a snack / And stinks up your crack / It’s NEW Hot Log!