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Colfax McLiverneck

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Topics posted by Colfax McLiverneck

  1.  

    Dammit, Jim—I’m a person doctor, not a ghost doctor. Wait, isn’t Shatner dead?

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 513 views
  2.  

    There’s a place in France where the ladies wear no pants. It’s called La Maison de la Femmes Sans Pantalons.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 455 views
  3.  

    The theme of this three-theme catchphrase is that it has the word “theme” in it three times.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 373 views
  4.  

    Captain’s log: it’s what I leave in the bathroom after a delicious meal of replicator meatloaf.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 366 views
  5.  

    Like the bumper sticker says—guns don’t kill people, genetically-modified hyper-intelligent badgers with laser eyes kill people.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 331 views
  6.  

    Like the bumper sticker says—God is my copilot. Jesus is my stewardess. And the sleeping hottie next to me has angelic-smelling hair.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 410 views
  7.  

    Like the bumper sticker says—a bad day fishing is better than a good day getting flayed alive by antediluvian cosmic proto-cockroach demons.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 314 views
  8.  

    I’ll have the corn corn corn corn corn corn corn corn corn corn corn corn corn corn and a wafer-thin slice of cornbread.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 304 views
  9.  

    As Albert Einstein once said: “Elsa? Where the hell are my pants!”

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 304 views
  10.  

    “You can’t always get what you want, unless what you want is corn, in which case you can literally get it at any restaurant in America.” Copyright 201

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 378 views
  11.  

    We’ll doggone—I ain’t seen you in a month of Sundays, my beloved canine pet that ran away approximately 30 weeks ago.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 308 views
  12.  

    Just one in a long line of country music stars with two first names, Toby Keith slowly faded away as his bass boat sailed for the Grey Havens.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 293 views
  13.  

    What’s up, tubular cured emulsion of mechanically separated chicken, pork, water, corn syrup, and sodium nitrate?

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 326 views
  14.  

    The Last Jedi? More like the Last Jed, Aye?: The Beverly Seabillies and the Curse of the Black Gold

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 317 views
  15.  

    “Daddy, what’s a Jamaican Bobsled?” asked little Scotty. “Go ask your Uncle Hot Charlie,” his father answered knowingly.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 377 views
  16.  

    Man cannot live by corn alone. Believe me, I’ve tried. On the upside, it makes your turds look hilarious.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 309 views
  17.  

    The Last Jedi is a terrible name for an ice cream snack. Connie, can you set up a new meeting with marketing for 3:00 today?

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 332 views
  18.  

    If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. If wishes were corn, beggars would have lumpy yellow turds.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 309 views
  19.  

    There can only be one Jedi. Didn’t you guys see Star Wars II: The Quickening?

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 296 views
  20.  

    I tried to pick myself up by my own boot straps but I was wearing Chuck Taylors so all I did was untie my shoes. Fuck you, Horatio Alger.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 336 views
  21.  

    There’s more than one way to skin a cat, but there’s only one way to cook a cat, and that’s my abuela’s Sopa del Gato con Maiz.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 349 views
  22.  

    Baa, Baa, black sheep, have you any yummy corn? Why yes I do, handsome sire—three scrotes full and shorn.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 268 views
  23.  

    If you say “noice” one more time I’m going to smile uncomfortably and then imagine you being killed by a falling piano.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 279 views
  24.  

    To whoever lobbed this can of corn into my cubicle and broke my collarbone: I love you and hate you at the same time.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 313 views
  25.  

    What’s up, Jimmy? Still cracking corn, I see. You do realize that no one cares, right?

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 331 views
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