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Colfax McLiverneck

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Topics posted by Colfax McLiverneck

  1.  

    She sells seashells in Iowa, which, being nowhere near the seashore, explains the outrageous prices. You know, transportation costs and whatnot.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 279 views
  2.  

    FYI, acorn bread is not good at all, and pinecones cause mouth bleeding. Also, Americaā€™s Squirrel Kitchen is a terrible TV show idea.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 254 views
  3.  

    The foot boneā€™s connected to the leg bone / the leg boneā€™s connected to my man bone / my man boneā€™s connected to your mom bone

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 269 views
  4.  

    There are two types of people in this world: those that love corn, those that hate corn and are wrong, and those that love corn but canā€™t do math.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 295 views
  5.  

    Steve Bannon looks like he fell off the back of a potato cart. ā€œFell off the back of a potato cart driver, more likely,ā€ said an anonymous aide.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 301 views
  6.  

    Me and yo mammaā€”ā€˜Twould be a consummation devoutly to be wished, had I not already banged her.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 281 views
  7.  

    Anagram her? Hydra whore link!

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 342 views
  8.  

    Jimmy, I swear to God. If you. Crack. One. More. Corn. I. Will. Hurt. You.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 285 views
  9.  

    Jimmy, I know you think I donā€™t care, but if cracking corn is that important to you, then you do you, buddy. You do you.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 358 views
  10.  

    Considering the amount of un-cracked corn at the scene, the murderer couldnā€™t have been Jimmy.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 294 views
  11.  

    A dark night in a midwestern state with a lapsed ethanol subsidy. But one man is still lobbying the Agriculture committeeā€”Slob Coberman, Corn Advocate

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 274 views
  12.  

    I think this Mars simulator is brokenā€”I appear to be tied to a virtual cross in a corn field, and thereā€™s a spooky kid named Malachi yelling at me.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 333 views
  13.  

    When the moon hits your eye like a big piece of corn, that's not cool, man.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 352 views
  14.  

    My ear-o-corn-a donā€™t want none unless you got salt and butter, hon

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 453 views
  15.  

    And lechery and sloth did prevail in the land of Mantzouka, and the Lord was displeased, and he did smite everyone in the land, until not one was left

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 463 views
  16.  

    Hop in my Chrysler, it's as big as a whale and it's about to set sailā€”annnnnd, it sank. That was a TERRIBLE idea.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 275 views
  17.  

    Shall I compare thee to a cob of corn? Thou art less yellow, and not quite as delicious.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 281 views
  18.  

    First they came for the dangling participles. Then they came for the terminal prepositions. And then OMG thier totes werent noone lef, whatevs

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 292 views
  19.  

    You canā€™t teach an old dog new tricksā€”but you canā€™t teach a dead dog ANY tricks. So please stop teaching that dog how to swallow a sword.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 348 views
  20.  

    The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down, of the big lake they call gitchee gitchee gitchee goo peekaboo I see you, tiny human!

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 263 views
  21.  

    Hammer? I barely nail her!

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 290 views
  22.  

    My name is Zouka / I live on the second floor / Iā€™m slayinā€™ all the tang up here / Maybe you can bring me some more

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 474 views
  23.  

    In Mexico, are corn mazes called maize mazes?

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 494 views
  24.  

    The only thing necessary for the triumph of weevils is for good corn farmers to do nothing.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 441 views
  25.  

    Ring around the burn pile, a pocket full of corned beef, bubble wrap, inverted nipples, we all go to a Toad the Wet Sprocket concert.

    By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 415 views
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