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Content count
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Days Won
3
Topics posted by Colfax McLiverneck
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Vernon vends vitamins down in the Valley, visibly violating Vallejo’s vexing vagrancy ban.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 353 views
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You put your left foot in, you pull your left foot out—but as I’ve said before, it’s not that kind of show.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 398 views
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Well I’m running down the road tryin’ to loosen my load annnnnnnd there it goes. Note to self: no creamed corn before morning run.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 474 views
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Welcome to Colfax’s Corn Cob Pipe Emporium, where we don’t sell seashells and we’re nowhere near the seashore.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 379 views
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What is your purpose? To pass the ovuliferous inflorescences of transgenic maize. And the butter. You’re welcome.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 514 views
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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more cornbread.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 321 views
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Easy guys—I put my pants on one leg at a time, just like you. Except once my pants are on, I write fabulous corn-themed catchphrases.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 280 views
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Smoove C here, baby. Let me be the first to assure you that among all bangin’ ladies I hold you in the highest regard, and that with the stimulating l
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 340 views
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Was your mom raised in a barn? Cause she looks a lot like a horse I used to bang.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 358 views
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Flat, my ass. The earth is a homeomorphic coplanar topogram with cross-embedded Cartesian autohedric Gunterblass spaces.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 329 views
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Just watched the Family Guy/Simpsons crossover ep. Meh. I would have called it Springhog.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 420 views
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Let me not to the marriage of butter and corn admit impediments—and also corn is not corn without salt.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 312 views
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Of all the average bands in the world, the Eagles are the averagest. Welcome to the Hotel Mediocre.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 324 views
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I’ve been listening to Future Islands all day, and I’ve been wondering—do islands in the future have corn? If not, I’m fine right here in the present.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 381 views
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People who live in glass houses should move to regular houses so they can throw stones whenever they want to.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 268 views
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Hello, 911? I drank weed killer. Also, I’m a dandelion. No, a big fancy African cat.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 334 views
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- 0 replies
- 417 views
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If I had a kernel of corn for every time I’ve wished I had a kernel of corn, I’d have all the corn.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 275 views
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Move along, there’s nothing to see here. And quit tapping that infuriating white-tipped stick, you weirdo.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 299 views
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Dear Mr. Auckerman: we regret to inform you that your Application for CBB Host position has been declined. Please turn in your sweater vests and leave
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 283 views
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Dear Mr. Auckerman: we regret to inform you that yo mamma wears army boots.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 380 views
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Dear Mr. Auckerman: we regret to inform you that your application for Shucker at the Aw Shucks! Corn Shucking Co-Op has been laughed at and discarded.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 304 views
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I have eaten the corn that was in the icebox and which you were probably saving for dinner. Forgive me—it was delicious, and I am me, after all
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 285 views
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So much depends upon the yellow corn glazed with butter beside the white grits
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 321 views
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I find it odd that no one has mentioned the 800-lb. can of corn in the chair directly across the table from me.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 312 views