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Topics posted by Colfax McLiverneck
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"Polish the cob, slob on my knob, tickle my frog," said Bob on his blog.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
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- 623 views
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It's that time of year again—time to whip up some popcorn, wipe the cat's ass, and stack grandma and grandpa outside by the firewood.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 460 views
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Idle hands are the devil's tools—so shuck that corn, and shuck it good. Mmmm, that's right. Shuck it REAL good, baby.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 496 views
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While browsing the CornNut selection at the corner store, Gretchen realized that she had left the dog on and the stove out.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 414 views
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- 407 views
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One may be the loneliest number, but one can never be truly lonely at midnight in a cornfield clearing with one's little buddies Isaac and Malachai.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 399 views
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A corn farmer, a priest, and a hovering giraffe walked into a bar. Actually, the giraffe hovered in, but you know what I mean. Nudge nudge, wink wink.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 418 views
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As a sexy food historian, I can bring home the cornpone, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget that cornpone is a primitive bread made of groun
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 441 views
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One for the money, two for the show; that'll be three dollars total, unless you'd like to add the non-complementary cornnuts. Enjoy your flight.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 400 views
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An average ear of corn has eight hundo kernels; by this measure, we're only halfway there.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 477 views
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Let's all go to the lobby, let's all go to the lobby, let's all go to the lobby, and drown our soul-shattering regrets in multiple pitchers of cornbee
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 455 views
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It was said of Sir Slaytang that he would hide in the edge of the cornfield and peer longingly into your window. Creepy, man.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 455 views
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You can detect Sir Slaytang and his sidekick Creepalong Bob by the sound of raw corn kernels crunching in their goat-like teeth.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 435 views
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It's not all unicorns and rainbows out there, kid. It's manticores and corndogs. Now get outta my face.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 406 views
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Jimmy cracked corn, and the fact that you don't care is really hurtful. (sobbing) Really, really hurtful.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
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- 418 views
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Leave it to those cornfed midwestern boys to eat lots of corn and forever after have their names modified by the adjective "cornfed".
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 454 views
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Creepalong Bob slithers into your bedroom, dragging an iguana-shaped pinata full of corn silently behind him.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 425 views
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- 473 views
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Cornscore and twenty kernels ago, our forefathers brought forth into this small but comfortable apartment one serviceable futon and one used Blues Tra
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 409 views
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The Mayans do it, the Aztecs do it, even educated Olmecs do it. Let's do it. Let's grow some maize.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
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- 392 views
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Well that's just corntastic, Scott. How are we going to explain this to yo mamma?
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 434 views
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While grooming my cornstache, an slippery epiphany crawled up my asshole.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 451 views
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Coming up next, Charlie Parker's lost recording of "Jimmy Cracked Corn".
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 432 views
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Sir Slaytang's recipe for happiness: one can of corn, one box of Tang, and one recording of Prokofiev's Peter and the Wolf.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 392 views
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OK, here's what we know so far. El Chapo has escaped again, and is suspected to be hiding in a corn field.
By Colfax McLiverneck, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 371 views