CaptPukeFish

Give a man a fish n you feed him 4 a day. Give a woman a fish n she’s all, “Stop mailing fish to my office. U know I hate fish. We broke up years ago”

I like my oldies golden, my chairs foldin’, and my Caulfield Holden.

I’m not buying your crocodile tears, but how much for that alligator jizz?

I will get one of these “when I became a man” catchphrases to land, you fucks.

When I became a man I put away my childish things but when I became a werewolf I destroyed my entire apartment, so now I’m just like “whatever”

I’ve never seen him do standup but I love his tight five.

Hello kitty. Goodbye shitty.

If you're listening to this and you survived the catchphrase wars, tell Greazey Bob that I love her.

Serious? As serious as a fart attack.

I got cauliflower ear from boxing. You don’t wanna know how I got sauerkraut dick.

Enough with The Who’s on first routine and somebody just start the darn gangbang already.

Would u rather be an idiot that only talks to sticks, but is happy for 23 hrs/day, or be a brilliant talking stick surrounded only by idiots, but be happy for just one hour a day? I’ll take my answer off the air.

There’s no easy way to tell you this. Well, maybe if I just, put down these grenades which I’ve been juggling. Ah yes. Much easier. You have cancer.

I said “all hands on deck”, but a how do ya do, this works too.

All I have are the clothes on my back, and dozens of precious jewels sown into the skin on my back.

If you remember Sergeant Slaughter and you look like Harry Potter, come teeter totter by the water with the cobblers naughty daughter.

I can moonwalk in my tube socks and I can douggy in my snuggy. I can beat bot chewing moonrocks. Kiss me hug me. Lick me tug me.

Pcast

You can take the boy outta Liverpool, but you can't take out the pool boy's liver.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach Beyoncé to fish and I’m all, “Yass Queen, slay”.

Pcast bump

Pcast bump

Behind the candelabra sleeps the dreaded chuppacabra, and a photo of Chewbacca. Titty poopoo. Titty kaka.

mustard

If you can’t handle me at my Paul Blart, you don’t deserve me at my Mall Blart.