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About CaptPukeFish

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    I’m famous behind the paywall
  • Birthday 04/09/1981

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  1. Remember, when you point your finger at someone, you have three fingers pointing back at you, and one finger in the stink.
  2. Hello Mary poo. Goodbye shit.
  3. My bologna has a first name, and it has me chained in my basement. Oh god, that pile of bones! Those are children’s bones!
  4. Stayed tuned after the show where we announce this years “catchphrase submitter with the nicest genitals” award. Listen closely during todays episode and see if you can spot the secret clue.
  5. And for those of you keeping score at home...fuck you!!!
  6. I wasted my dreams, but you tasted my creams.
  7. Doesn’t matter if you swipe left on me, swipe right on me. I’m just happy someone’s cleaning my butthole.
  8. Truck nuts for the orphan soul
  9. Star light, star bright, let’s try two in the stink tonight.
  10. My bologna has a first name, but if its cool with you, and maybe when you’re ready, you can try calling it “Mom”..
  11. I think, therefore one in the stink.
  12. That’s right up my alley. And by “alley” I mean butthole, and by “that”, I mean bowling ball.
  13. Everybody was humping around, and it was hands down, the sexiest funeral in town.
  14. It’s all fun and games until somebody loses an eye. After that it’s just fun.