CaptPukeFish

It was Mrs.Peacock in the library with a candlestick. The mystery of who was loudly masturbating finally solved, it was time to find the murderer.

Hey everybody, sorry I'm late. *starts to take off jacket* What's goin on in here? Bunch of yuck yucks and wacky nonsense if i know you clowns. *begins to read thread* Hmmmm. *stops taking off jacket* Cool cool cool *slides jacket all the way back on and casually looks at watch* Oh wow, look at the time. I completely forgot about that thing I had to do at that place. Maybe I'll drop by later you crazy bastards. *backs out door slowly* *forgets there were stairs behind me. begins to comically sway arms in a panic as i lose balance* Woah woahhhh *falls down 3 flights of stairs, collapsing unconscious at the bottom* *a drunk elderly hobo begins to laugh through his toothless mouth as he urinates on my face*

Sounds like a "D" name? David maybe? Someone named "David" in the first few rows. Your Grandpa says he misses u and admires ur masturbating technique.

Heavy is the head that wears the crown, except for Clown-King Dingle Muffins. That delightful and sadistic bastard has a balloon crown for fucks sake.

The enemy at the gate,cries of despair echoed thru the streets.The butcher playfully tucked his man beef betwixt his legs. He knew what the Mrs. liked

RE: Pants: On or Off? We come as we are and let nature decide. BOOM MIC enter stage left. Fade to sex.

Seeing "my wife" on its downslope for such a long while now, only to have it resurrected so perfectly hard all over my face was a borderline spiritual experience. There's no sane way to explain that to normal human beings.

Marvelous. Over on Howl they have 5 other shows with guests. Whistlin' Pete knocks it outta the park...fair ball.

Ooh. Classic Catchphrase Submission blunder.

This is pure awesomeness, but you need to put the whole thing in the topic title for Scott to read it. It should fit.

Hey Siri, did Marcel Marceau ever use air quotes?

Life is just a rat race towards death, and we're all just trying to cum on as many rats as possible before they make it to the finish line. Amen.

The highway's jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive, and I'm pretty sure the guy in the car next to me is jerking off.

I'm going to need to see a picture of both an emu and an ostrich holding today's newspaper. And then have that picture show up in tomorrow's newspaper. I should also stress this need of mine is completely unrelated to the "Emu v Ostrich" conversation taking place in this forum.

I love Tick. I love John Lennon. Drew Tarver is earning my affection with every appearance. But I had to turn it off after the awful catchphrase. Too bad. Sounded like a great lineup.

I don't have a horse in this race. I AM a horse in this race. I do however have a horse in the next race - my son, Uninvested Observing Horse Jr.

I've got to correct a "correction and omission"(Unprecedented you say?). At the 55 minute-ish mark, the Butler doesn't say "I'll have to kill that boy, like his uncle." He says "Tough to kill that boy, like his uncle." I can see how it can be easily misheard. It's just one of those classic cases of confusion and miscommunication that often accompanies the all-too-common Egyptian/Scottish dialect of that era.

Harper's Bazaar claims the show has a proportional amount of eloquent junk for even the fleshiest of trunks. Emoji score: 3 eggplants and half a poo.

I like my catchphrases like I like my analogies; nonsensical, contextually vague, and with as many bare tits as possible.

Where, in an ironic twist of fate, Adam doesn't show his real dick?

If attacked by a bear, play dead. If that doesn't work, actually die.

When you're Joan Jett, you're a Joan Jett all the way. If you're not Joan Jett then who gives a shit?

I'm glad Scott has the courage and fortitude to defend our noble candidate time and again.