CaptPukeFish

Just follow your heart. Or kill both your parents and start a new life. What do I care?. I don't even know you. Can you sit somewhere else please?

Now if you'll all check under your seats, you'll notice a chunk of my shit. Tickets are nonrefundable and the doors are locked from the outside.

Don't you hate it when you bend over backwards to help someone out, and they don't even acknowledge your flexibility or your erection?

Does this taste infected to you?

Poultry, thy name is chicken.

Maybe you didn't expect this many killer robots at a kindergarten graduation, but I did. Now get out of that pile of dead bodies and lets do this.

Thanks for staying tuned to "The Stay Tunes: The Tunes That Stayed." I'm your host Stacy Tooning, and I recently found out I have terminal cancer.

You think abstract expressionism represented the traditional middle class better than socialist realism? Child please!

I need an old priest, and a young priest. And a small pool filled with baby oil. Ooh La la. Best sweet 16 Everrrrrr!!!

The last thing I remember is Father O'Garrity running at me with a sock full of quarters and yelling "You think your tits don't stink!?"

There's only so many times you can throw a hobo from a moving train before you feel like settling down and starting a family.

I wrote a book about reverse psychology, but people like you probably wouldn't understand it, so don't even bother.

Rabies infused chicken wire? I thought you said "whoopee pies". Well, too late now. I've already swallowed it.

Spill em' all and let Maude sort em' out. Maude has OCD and we like to have fun. God, I wish I was dead.

You guys wanna see a dead body? You do? That's gross. I'm telling my mom. I never really liked you guys anyway. The end.

Stop picking at it and just let the flies do their thing.

Never mind what you "thought" Sunday school would be like, Becky. If you don't get back in that ring and fight, neither one of us will live to see another sunrise.

Sure, when I sneak into homes and watch children sleep, it's creepy. But when a nine foot clown does it to me for 30 years it's "hilarious"? Thanks Obama.

My house, my rules Susan. The day you host Thanksgiving dinner, you can do things your way. So like I said before, tits or get the fuck out.

Like Jesus said, it ain't a funeral until someone gets punched in the face. Now dry those tears and brace yourself, cuz I'm looking at you gamgam.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. If at first you do succeed, go fuck yourself, NERD.