CaptPukeFish

A shampoodler tribute.

I don’t have any bitcoin. Do you accept chewed cash?

I’d like to remind the gentleman buried in horse feed that he is currently under oats.

One if by pink, two if by stink.

I don’t mind seeing Bronson Pinchot, but I get nervous when I see Bronson Bite-O and Scratch-O.

They tried to bury us, they didn’t know that was our kink.

My bologna has a first name, but it only responds to MY commands, so you tell those submarines to back off, colonel!

Turns out sweet dreams are really just made of diced pickles and Russian dressing.

Psychic Dumbshit Magazine named it “The Podcast Least Likely to Begin with this Catchphrase.”

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then two in the stink.

So I took a dive during a fight years ago! It was one time! I wasn't the one that started a fight at the diving competition!

You tell me not to shit where I eat, then you tell me to eat shit? Which one is it, mom?!

Honorary member of Scholastic Bookclub’s “catch a rising star” award, and winner of Pervert Weekly’s “suck a falling turd” award.

Shithead Magazine recently named it “The podcast with the stupidest dick”.

Voted Motor Trend’s Car of the Year Awards’ “Least Eligible Entry” for 2008

Recently named Car and Driver Magazine’s “Podcast with the Sloppiest Mud Flaps”.

Dick can’t draw very welly, so Dick Tracy.

And now back to Martin Short and Shelley Long in, “Long Story Short: A Shlong Story”

The lady will have the chicken, and the chicken will have the lady. I now pronounce you chicken and lady, you may lady the chicken.

Thank u to... captpukefish for that marvelous catchphrase submission. If you have a catchphrase, ahh, you know what to do.

I came here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, so your bubblegum underwear was an interesting choice.

I’ve crunched the numbers and it turns out, if you add milk, they’re not as crunchy.

The Mary Tyler Moore, the Mary Tyler Merrier

Spread your wings and fly, as I spread my cheeks and sigh.

And those times when you only saw one set of footprints in the sand, we had each cut off one of our own legs, and kind of tied ourselves together, with like, intestines and veins and bones. I don’t know. It was weird. I’d rather not talk about it.