CaptPukeFish

My boyfriends back and you’re gonna be in trouble. Not because he’s back, and this is always difficult for a doctor to have to tell someone but, you have terminal diarrhea. Oh there’s my boyfriend! Hey honeeeeeee.

My pyromaniac brother was the original Bernie bro.

Skinnamarinky dinky dink, guess how I made my pinky stink.

You ever burn the midnight oil at 2:30PM? It’s fuckin crazy.

Spoiler alert: Bruce Willis was kind of an asshole the whole time.

With a knick knack paddywhack give a dog a bone, my dad cried watching Caddyshack, jerked off to Home Alone.

My bologna has a first name, and it has me chained in my basement. Oh god, that pile of bones! Those are children’s bones!

Stayed tuned after the show where we announce this years “catchphrase submitter with the nicest genitals” award. Listen closely during todays episode and see if you can spot the secret clue.

And for those of you keeping score at home...fuck you!!!

I wasted my dreams, but you tasted my creams.

Doesn’t matter if you swipe left on me, swipe right on me. I’m just happy someone’s cleaning my butthole.

Truck nuts for the orphan soul

Star light, star bright, let’s try two in the stink tonight.

My bologna has a first name, but if its cool with you, and maybe when you’re ready, you can try calling it “Mom”..

It’s all fun and games until somebody loses an eye. After that it’s just fun.

Meh

I think, therefore one in the stink.

That’s right up my alley. And by “alley” I mean butthole, and by “that”, I mean bowling ball.

Everybody was humping around, and it was hands down, the sexiest funeral in town.

But that? That...was a catchphrase for a different story. The end.

But doctor, I am Pauly Shore.

When life gives u lemons, make lemonade, but when Larry the deadly hobo gives u lemons, dispose of them as soon as ur out of his line of site, burn ur clothes and contact poison control immediately.

press One for eat drink man woman, press two in the stink for pink drank sprang break!

When I was a child I spoke as child, but when I became a man, I came all over the elephant mans bones.

Two please for In the Mouth of Madness, and one please for In my Stink of Sadness.