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CaptPukeFish

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Topics posted by CaptPukeFish

  1.  

    It's not easy being a stay-at-home mom, but for someone like me - a homeless man with no children - its nearly impossible.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 278 views
  2.  

    Relax, it was all just a dream. Now bite down on this, and bend over. We need to retrieve that dream while it's still fresh.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 350 views
  3.  

    Thanks for cutting the crust off for me, Ma, but if it's all the same, I'm just going to throw this yogurt in the trash.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 307 views
  4.  

    I apologize for my nervous tick, but he had a really traumatic childhood.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 302 views
  5.  

    I've weighed the pros and cons. 11 pounds to 16 pounds. Congratulations to the winner.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 355 views
  6.  

    No doubt she would've succeeded dear Watson, But she failed to account for the most important element of them all - her inverted mooseknuckle.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 377 views
  7.  

    Look, I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but this floor is composed entirely of severed human toes.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 546 views
  8.  

    I didn't choose to co-host this show about shoes,the host of Shoe Show Coast to Coast chose me, and chose my shoes! Now here's your host, Shloewst!!

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 280 views
  9.  

    You wanna know what leaves a bad taste in my mouth? Leaves. Eating leaves.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 288 views
  10.  

    I know. Killing the mother bear in that fist fight assured those cubs' survival. Let's talk about later. Your 9th birthday. The ChuckECheese incident.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 331 views
  11.  

    A violent, lurid abomination that manages to be an affront to god, nature, and man. Parents will enjoy it too. Three and a half stars.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 375 views
  12.  

    Dad used to take me behind the woodshed a lot when I was young. Yep, watchin dad read porns and drink whiskey behind the woodshed. Those were the days

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 343 views
  13.  

    And now, a moment of silence for anyone that hits MUTE during the reading of this catchphrase.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 273 views
  14.  

    That's me outside your window, lurking in the tall grass in my Bugle Boy cut-offs. Morning will come soon.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 297 views
  15.  

    Throwing rubber chickens at the grieving families of the great rubber chicken factory massacre is not funny.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 300 views
  16.  

    Oh those end times, those laffy-taffy shaking end times.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 298 views
  17.  

    He never let them see him sweat. But when he died, they found dozens of barrels of sweat hidden in his basement, so who the fuck knows.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 303 views
  18.  

    We shall settle this as they did in the before times, as the sacred scrolls mandate - drunk frisbee golf.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 263 views
  19.  

    Dammit uncle Frank, If you're not going to take the ceremony seriously then get your panties out of the crock pot and give me back my dentures.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 316 views
  20.  

    That small chicken strip I ate gave me a toothache. The pain went away, but the chicken is still a little bit tender.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 351 views
  21.  

    Alone they were powerless, but together they magically form a collection of individuals finding a sense of acceptance and security in a group setting.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 336 views
  22.  

    You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, but you catch the most flies with a steamy pile of shit, so mind your goddam business, grandma.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 357 views
  23.  

    Slow fade-down to:A diverse group of children playing stickball in the inner city. Flashfwd to:Carrottop buying steroids off of a snarky Vegas hooker.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 299 views
  24.  

    Why do I do this to myself? I don't know. Maybe because when I was younger my dad refused to play catchphrase with me.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 351 views
  25.  

    I caught my girlfriend poking holes in my condom. I know it was her because it was on my erect penis at the time.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 458 views
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