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CaptPukeFish

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Topics posted by CaptPukeFish

  1.  

    I'm gonna play Pink Floyds The Wall so loudly and a Mexican is going to listen to it.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 309 views
  2.  

    I quit my job and now I make $1500-$3000 a week taking hi-res pictures of squirrels' buttholes. You can too. Just lick the clink below my taint.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 393 views
  3.  

    Anyone who says pro wrestling is fake never had their dick kicked in by a midget after falling off a 30 foot ladder onto a bed of mousetraps.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 319 views
  4.  

    Ask me about my borderline interesting, psuedo-narcissistic, self-indulgent behavior.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 373 views
  5.  

    I don't mean to harp on this, but you did just die, and I am an angel with a bitchin' golden harp, so fuck it, and fuck you.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 300 views
  6.  

    Good luck finding a bus driver with an ass like mine that can drink as much as I can and still get these little bastards to school on time.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 298 views
  7.  

    What part of "polish all of my warts with your nipple sweat" didn't you understand?

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 354 views
  8.  

    The court finds that although the defendant is officially diagnosed as being"coocoo for Cocoa Puffs", he is still not exempt from paying child support

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 282 views
  9.  

    Richard Roeper praised the film, claiming "The perfect amount of sex for all that wet hot dripping sexiness." See Finding Dory, currently in theaters.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 379 views
  10.  

    It ain't easy growing up on a farm. Unless, like every child ever, you naturally acclimate to the life you were born into, then its relatively easy.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 451 views
  11.  

    Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, the arrow you fire will probably just land safely in that playground full of children.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 447 views
  12.  

    Kindness? I thought you said "Kill em with 'Kindles'". Great. Now I've got a dozen bloody Kindles and I don't even know how to read.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 466 views
  13.  

    He's the type of guy that was born on 3rd base and thinks he kicked a slapshot; his lack of modesty only outdone by his lack of basic sports knowledge

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 403 views
  14.  

    Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining. Just pee on it and sing me Christmas carols, like you promised.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 356 views
  15.  

    I think you're old enough to know the truth. Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy beat your father to death.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 336 views
  16.  

    I was expecting a gator of piss, but turns out it was just a croc of shit.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 289 views
  17.  

    Stupid psychic told me i'd injure my finger slamming my car door today. Jokes on her. It was just my dick being crushed between closing elevator doors

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 337 views
  18.  

    I'm from the future and it turns out robots eventually learn the concept of love. They also learn what daddy likey.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 322 views
  19.  

    In a land of milk & honey, milk bags and honeypots aren't euphemisms for female anatomy,they're valuable commodities,if u know what I mean.*wink *wink

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 290 views
  20.  

    She promised it was because of my god-like super penis, but turns out she only married me for my catchphrase suggestions.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 307 views
  21.  

    I know I'm just a humble ventriloquist, alone in a room full of lifeless ventriloquist dummies, but I think I speak for everyone here...

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 328 views
  22.  

    You're just robbing Peter to pay Paul. And then punching Mary in the face? What kind of sadistic tour manager are you?

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 323 views
  23.  

    That Polaroid picture of a salt shaker ur mama gave you is how you make your money. I suggest you shake it like a woman's ass.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 353 views
  24.  

    According to the Framer's Almanac, August is the best month to start planting evidence.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 349 views
  25.  

    At least he died doing what he loved; bemoaning a life of regret and fearing the finality of death while his organs slowly failed.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 336 views
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