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CaptPukeFish

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Topics posted by CaptPukeFish

  1.  

    My Segway exploded and killed my dog on my birthday. Speaking of lousy segways...

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 330 views
  2.  

    It took years to create, and many people said I was crazy, but lets hear what they have to say now. Moisten up your flavor lagoons. Its Fingernail Pie

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 313 views
  3.  

    Yes, Freud said "There are no accidents", but godammit, you're an insurance agency and this feels like outright fraud.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 495 views
  4.  

    Put on ur sad shoes and leave ur inhibitions swingin lifelessly from a ceiling fan,cuz existence is an endless string of delusion and fear.*fart noise

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 381 views
  5.  

    Like sand through the hourglass, these are the days of the hourglass maker. Wasting his stupid life putting sand in hourglasses, like an idiot.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 361 views
  6.  

    And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Paley McHorsepenis, and the pasty-faced horsey crew followed with him

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 348 views
  7.  

    This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but with a comedy podcast, whose name escapes me at the moment.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 447 views
  8.  

    Far-off tribal drums beating. A bonfire on the horizon. The faint echoing screams. The aroma of Grandma's apple pie. Who says you can't go home again?

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 314 views
  9.  

    Leave the wife and kids at home, because your marriage is a sham, and your kids deserve a real father.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 330 views
  10.  

    I'm starting to think George will never finish his masterpiece, and we'll never know if they got the funk or not.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 338 views
  11.  

    Fancy meeting you here. Fancy meeting you there. Tell me the truth, you're having an affair with Fancy aren't you?

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 375 views
  12.  

    You never really learn the true meaning of Christmas until you wake up tied to a chair in a room filled with snakes.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 464 views
  13.  

    I'm wearing this mask because we like to have fun, but mostly so you can't identify me once this is over.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 339 views
  14.  

    I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire. I'd use water, ya weirdo. Get this through your head...IM NEVER PISSING ON YOU.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 332 views
  15.  

    Read this and I'll release the stranger I have tied up in my basement. Your move funny man. Captain pukefish has the upper hand now.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 426 views
  16.  

    The crap in my pants was just happenstance, but I'm getting a little tired of your self-indulgent vomitting.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 310 views
  17.  

    lets go take a ride on the fun bus, because we're gonna need you to identify the body.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 295 views
  18.  

    Jerry determined he could no longer run from his past. His freshly severed legs determined he could no longer run from me. I. love. Jerry.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 288 views
  19.  

    It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then we play "find the eye". Then its arts and crafts, where eye gouging is mandatory.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 343 views
  20.  

    I'm being told we are not authorized to put any more "stank" on it until all the layers of old stank are completely removed. I apologize for the delay

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 290 views
  21.  

    Orphan attacks are down 300% since I burned that orphanage down, and THIS is how you repay me? With charred orphan bones!? Where the fuck AM I?

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 290 views
  22.  

    I wish I could go back and open a torch and pitchfork store during the Frankenstein era. Oh well. Mine as well just jerk off for the 4th time today.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 306 views
  23.  

    They say there are no small parts, only small actors. But for cannibal casting director Marty Smalls, it's all about eating an actor's small parts.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 372 views
  24.  

    Per new union regulations, as stated in article 4c, subsection B, I'm now contractually obligated to blow yer fuckin minds!!

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 321 views
  25.  

    There are no stupid questions, just stupid people, and stupid catchphrases. Behold as they all join forces, stupid.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 308 views
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