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Bingo Boy

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Everything posted by Bingo Boy

  1. Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks, because I’m very hungry and I sleep in this baseball stadium at night.
  2. I made quinoa with mee maw and pee paw, and now my house smells like grains and bengay.
  3. All that Vegemite didn’t sit with me right, and now I’ve got a case of the down under didgeridoo doos in my underoos.
  4. I covered my other lover in chunky peanut butter, and it made my girlfriend totally jelly.
  5. I hate to say I told you so, but “sexy Muppet Babies” was not a good idea for a Halloween costume.
  6. Gettin’ paid and gettin’ laid like Randy Quaid in Independence Daid
  7. Always McBride’s maid, never Danny McBride
  8. Call me crazy but... my psychiatrist says that the correct term for my condition is “mentally ill”.
  9. I may be a butter face, but that’s just ‘cuz I moisturize with Land O’ Lakes
  10. Get out and take your Jordan Peele blu-ray with you!
  11. The world is still patiently waiting on Lou Bega to release his first four mambos.
  12. I went to the beach and got sand in my crack, but I’ll probably still smoke it anyway.
  13. It’s a good thing that curiosity killed the cat, because I forgot to buy it food.
  14. Every Friday I head down to TGI Fridays for a little something I like to call “TGI TGI Fridays Friday”.
  15. This Predator sequel starring his child is pretty good despite the title.
  16. Easy on the rigatoni ya jabroni, my sweetie’s got diabetes
  17. Today on the show we talkin’ Weehawken. Everyone’s 19th favorite place in New Jersey.
  18. What’s up Auk-dawg?
  19. Feed me hot pockets and call me a liar, because I think my cargo pants just caught on fire.
  20. Just like I tell my butcher, "Don't skimp on the salami, mommy!". Mostly because my mom works in a butcher shop.
  21. Call me by your name, but only two times if your name is beetlejuice.
  22. We're all just future ghosts that haven't been busted yet.
  23. Don't be a fuddy duddy, peel that silly putty off my nutty buddy
  24. People who live in glass houses should have hired better contractors. Put some bricks in there why don't ya!
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