Bingo Boy

Ask Jeeves for the Mapquest directions to Circuit City, ‘cause we’re pickin’ up some HD DVDs, compadre.

I can’t believe you’d stoop so low and poop slo-mo.

It turns out Chippendales has no relation to the Disney characters of the same name. I really shouldn’t have brought my kids there.

If I were to suggest in jest that I love Wild Wild West, would you pass the test like all the rest?

I'm pretty sure this is the only movie in the history of cinema where the slap game is incorporated into a bar fight. Also, If you are wondering if Seagal's character is an environmentalist named Forrest, the answer is yes.

I would love hearing them discuss the insane alternate ending:

Little known fact, Johnny Cash actually wrote “Ring of Fire” about the aftermath of a week-long whiskey & chili bender.

Bingo bango Chris Kattan was Mango.

I’m what they call “on the Spectrum”... because that’s what Time Warner Cable changed their name to.

Dick Butkus was a legendary athlete and there’s absolutely nothing funny to say about him.

I’d like to offer you a small part in a Matthew McConaughey vehicle. It’s right here under the hood of my Lincoln.

I may have forgotten all the bug spray and sunscreen, but I think my summer nudist retreat still went pretty well.

I’m not a small business owner, 5’8 is average height for a man. Now get out of my store!

John Woo, JCVD with a mullet, and Wilford Brimley. They should have done this or Sudden Death instead of Double Team. Hopefully they aren't tapped out on all the Van Damage yet.

There are so many WTF moments and lines in this movie. Now that they've done Miami Connection and Hard Ticket to Hawaii, I think this one should be next.

I will need to watch this ASAP now that its streaming on Amazon! I've wanted to see it for a long time, but DVD copies have always been listed for insane prices online.

Sorry, the salad bar is taken. But I’ve got a broken down, hepatitis-filled walk-in freezer with your name on it.

Frankly, I don’t think it’s any of your business whether or not I live in this abandoned Chi-Chi’s.

Cuttin’ loose with some Jesus juice.

Don’t piss in my Corn Flakes and tell me it’s yellow, piss-flavored milk.

I’ll only marry ya if you show me your bathing suit area.

Some of us prefer to live in a little something called the real world. It airs Thursdays at 10pm on MTV.

I may be the youngest proctologist here, but that’s not why they call me Dookie Howser. They call me Dookie Howser because I shit my pants on my 1st day.

I close my eyes / only for a moment and my kids are gone.

I shaved a mohawk above my pickle and now it looks like Travis Bickle.