Bingo Boy

Stop and frisk it til you butter my biscuit.

I saw my grandpa’s penis by mistake and it was pure poppycock.

It’s Christmas tradition round these parts to get nogged up and wrassle all those Kris Kringle wannabes at the mall.

I am the one who nongs.

Heynong man no likey the egg nog, man.

I bequeath to you, my only son, the VHS collection I taped off the scrambled Spice channel.

It’s not your fault we wound up in this cult. It’s that charming psychopath Cult Leader Randy who’s to blame.

You can’t prove I stuck my wiener inside your vacuum cleaner.

Check out my Ted talk. I’ll be discussing why Ted 2 wasn’t as good as the first one.

"You're gonna work in the factory just like everybody else! No robot son of mine will be a dancer."

On today's show I'll do something quirky and then look sad during a Kinks song. Welcome to dramedy bang bang.

My sister's hubby played Twister with Bubby Brister.

Three words: shimmy fuckin’ slide

This is streaming on amazon prime video right now. A movie where a man is beaten with his own severed arm should probably have priority over movies that don't feature a man being beaten with his own severed arm.

I made romance in my snow pants and we all had a white Christmas.

I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus...which isn’t surprising since my mom has a notorious Santa fetish.

No hanky panky or daddy will give you a spanky.

Show me where in the Home Depot employee handbook it says I can’t drop acid and feel the carpet samples.

They say dreams come true, which explains how I showed up for this exam in my underwear.

I’ll pay the damages, but you really should put up a sign to let people know that’s not a toilet.

Full disclosure, I hooked up with the Snapple lady in the 90s.

Don’t touch that dial! I don’t want your pubes on my bar of soap.

My grandpa is pissed.

Well son, maybe your toys would come to life too if you didn’t wet the bed all the time.

Usually after my third cup of coffee.