TootyBut2DButt

Hi this is McDonald’s here with a commercial. Have you tried our food? It’s pretty good. Look us up online if you want to try it.

Thanks to George RR Martin no one ever has to feel that bad about procrastinating ever again.

I’m going to start protein shake restaurant in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan where you watch a Pixar movie while playing a Chinese board game on the Nintendo Wii called “Up UP and a Whey Wii Go”.

I don’t want to go to the public pool but take out the “L’s” and I might just reconsider.

So you’re telling me if there is a heaven the cookies there will be vegan? Fuck off.

Water is the only thing that ever floats boats.

The Phantom of the Opera is the OG, OG.

He's an old song and dance man so he sings Creep by Radiohead while doing the Macarena,

The dictionary defines “catchphrase” as when a man and a woman are spooning and the woman farts on the man's dick, making it feel warm and cozy. My apologies, that appears to be the urban dictionary definition for something called a “Hot Richard” which I’ve definitely never heard of before.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines a “catchphrase” as a word or expression that is used repeatedly and conveniently to represent or characterize a person, group, idea, or point of view...for me to poop on.

She said something sexy like “my stroopwafel tastes of caramel” as she lounged resplendent on her oversized toilet.

Did you know that Louie Armstrong was actually a nickname because he played the world’s heaviest trumpet and jerked off in front of people.

Here’s a pun, isn’t that fun. Oh sorry, I meant a rhyme. Take 2: Here’s a rhyme, isn’t that that fun.

The PR department for woman tits seems to be doing a lot better job than the PR department for man tits.

My fingers smell like fingers because someone fingered them.

I agree that it is a play on words but I don’t think “We put the cream in crematorium.” is a good slogan for a business.

Breaking News: Incompetent human shocked at incompetence of other humans.

A lot of people think of me as the original Narnia.

If you liked Anthony’s wiener you’re going to love Boris’s johnson.

A 2017 study from Harvard found that across standardized testing 12% of answers were A’s, 9% of answers were B’s, 4% of answers were C’s and 75% of answers were D’s nuts.

Jesus’s name was really Josh.

If you ask me we should chuck him in a lorry.

I’m tired of porn parodies, it’s time for porn satires.

2 points form a line, 4 lines make a square, 8 squares make-a a-64, Nintendo 64 make-a it’s-a-me, Mario. Yahoo!

There’s nothing I love more than old Conan, it’s the wrinkles and loose skin that really get me going.