TootyBut2DButt

Let’s change Texas to Sexas and send all the perverts there to fuck in the dust.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was getting me to smell his finger.

No, unfortunately there aren’t enough butts in the world or maybe in the universe for that Mr. Wayne.

You better get all of this stuff out of here like the captain said, I'm gonna go pinch a loaf, when I come back, all this is gone, alright?

What noise is this? Give me my long sword, ho!

You can’t spell Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch without a degree in Welsh language studies.

You can’t spell. Educate yourself.

I had gum for dessert.

One if by stink, two if by pink and voila, the British are cumming.

I’ve been having really good shits since I started eating more moral fiber.

You don't see a lot of fat vampires.

Better a bassist than a racist as I always say.

Take me to Joan Rivers, drop me in John Waters. Hold me Glenn Closer, here comes Kyra Sedgwick.

Don’t take a bite, the hot dog eating contest hasn’t started yet, eating is cheating.

This looks like a great catchphrase...for me to poop on.

Call me a conspiracy theorist but I’ve been putting soap in my hair and shampoo on my skin for years a not a god-damn person has noticed.

Let’s address the elephant in the room. His name is Leonard, not “that big grey wrinkly dipshit”.

Do these pants make my butt look worthy of love and respect?

Find someone who looks at you the way your mother looks at your father, settle for them immediately and then make all the same mistakes.

Byzantine syzygy catalyzed satellites, incomprehensible heavenly acolytes.

Rinkle wurmple ample dinkle, sturmpet docket leibnitz physics.

My dentist doesn't respect me as a man.

Twitter? Change that "T-w" to a "B" and that's more accurate. Then change the "i" to a "u" and add the word "lover" after it and you've got our new Butter Lover deal at I-HOP. All you can eat butter for 9.99.

“Spank me, Daddy, I’ve been naughty.”, said the responsible child after turning himself in for stealing from the cookie jar.

I came into some money when my grandma died. Grief makes you do strange things.