TootyBut2DButt

Sure I’ve got a couple skeletons in my closet but many skeletons are closeted because of rampant homophobia in the skeleton community.

I turned on my spam filter but somehow everyday I still end up eating gallons and gallons of spam.

While the people that got on seemed very willing to yes-and, we quickly realized that they had something totally different in mind when we drove up in the Bang Bang Bus.

You can’t spell a word without the letters contained within it.

Why don’t we just name the MOST iconic duo and be done with these petty squabbles.

I hate to date myself but at this point I don’t think anyone else will do it.

I would love to but my legs don’t bend that way.

When life gives you Plemons make season 2 of Fargo.

I'm not from the Midwest so I call him "Iggy Soda".

The vacuum cleaner was invented in 1901 by Hubert Cecil Booth who thought of the idea after meeting your mom at a party.

Come over here and stick your face in this you rustic fuck.

One time I came so hard I discharged fluid from my genitals.

Crack is whack, butt crack doubly so.

If I told you how horny I was you wouldn’t believe me.

I don’t send dick pics I send cock portraits.

Watch Seinfeld Sunday nights at 7 or Kramer and Jerry will come to your house and beat you with wet noodles while Newman farts on everything in your fridge.

Did you know Benjamin Button is the sequel to Oldboy?

She’s got a face like a horse, and legs like a horse and also the body and penis of horse. Oh wait, that’s a male horse.

I'm in charge of a criminal Enterprise. We should be arrested for the low prices of our rental cars.

Forget being inside the actors studio, I'm more interesting in being inside the studio's actors.

Don't tooty on my fruity or I'll kick you in ya booty.

In a lot of ways if you think about it life is kind of like a metaphorical obstacle course.

Milk milk milk milk milk milk malk milk milk molk melk milk, lamuneed.

I can’t turn water into wine but if you give me about 45 minutes I can turn it into something else.

If it were up to me priests would be allowed to have sex with adults.