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TootyBut2DButt

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Everything posted by TootyBut2DButt

  1. I've got a bun in the oven, she's got a baby in the uterus but I'm pregnant and she's baking.
  2. "I'm walkin' here, forget about it." said the Brooklyn based Jedi, waving his hand at the stormtroopers.
  3. I like strap-ons and nature worship, they call me the peggin’ pagan.
  4. Shiver me timbers, that was quite an orgasm!
  5. My brain doesn’t understand who Kylie Minogue is.
  6. I need a thong for my dong to hold it in place, it flops around like a big flaccid mace.
  7. Sweet tea for my sweeties, enemas for my enemies, sweet tea enemas for my acquaintances.
  8. It makes me want to cry when I think about how disappointed Amerigo Vespucci would be with us.
  9. Polish sausages to get them shiny, mispronounce polish and I’ll kick your hiney.
  10. If you’re going to capture Nick Nolte, you’re going to need a nick cannon and a nick cage.
  11. Don’t make me horny, you wouldn’t like me when I’m horny.
  12. All my cases are brief cases, said the arrogant lawyer.
  13. God removed Adam’s McRib so he could suck his own McDick.
  14. If you ask me, the summer is the worst time to 69.
  15. Sometimes I get so scared that people will stop tweeting, then I open twitter and a great sense of relief washes over me.
  16. Let's just say shadows cast upon a wall aren't the only thing that have been in Plato's cave recently.
  17. Only 90's kids will get this; remember how crazy birth canals were during the Clinton presidency?
  18. If this and that were those and they then things would be quite different today.
  19. In the land of milk and honey, roving gangs of bees hunt cows for sport, wantonly slaughtering any that cross their path.
  20. Oooo, I hope you do one for Danny Aiello (assuming you haven't already).
  21. Our farts are very similar, Tutankhamun.
  22. There’s nothing more exciting than a mailman with a huge package.
  23. When I fart, only lines come out.
  24. Gad-Zouks! I’m glad Jason got married but he could do better!
  25. Someone tore me a new asshole and I am loving it.
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