TootyBut2DButt

I never walked in on my parents having sex, those sneaky bastards foiled my every attempt.

They call me the gingerbread man because my family only remembers I exist at Christmas.

I’m trying to work but I’ve got all these cocks in my mouth. I sure wish someone would come here and knock them out for me.

If penis enlargement pills actually worked, would the world be a better or worse place?

We took 10 of America’s hottest singles, loaded them onto a spaceship and flew it into the sun.

I do have an imaginary friend but unfortunately he's social distancing right now.

I'm aging like milk, but like an almond milk, so slightly better than regular milk.

Would you answer a hypothetical question?

Based on what I've seen it doesn't seem like it's that hard to get a black belt.

I'm not expecting much out of life, just for all of my dreams to come true and my life to be perfect. As long as that happens I'll be happy.

A wine expert is referred to as “a sommelier” while a vodka expert is called “an alcoholic”.

Make a new plan, Stan. Make a new ploby, Toby.

I’m still years away but I can feel a hell of a mid-life crisis brewin’ inside me.

I'd like to take a moment to apologize for everything I've ever said.

Asparagus is an aphrodisiac, doubly so for people who are into water sports.

Rub my belly for luck, go a little lower and we’ll fuck.

Take the gun, sell it, then you’ve got cannolis for days.

As an adult, it’s very difficult to find a non-sexual tickling partner.

Squeegee Luigi and bleach Peach, Mario’s here with that look in his eye.

By day I’m the mild mannered graffiti artist, Banksy, but by night I’m vigilante street pervert, Spanksy.

It makes me sad that even though some people could be amazing ventriloquists they’ll never try it because of how dumb it seems.

I like big butts but I prefer small farts.

Sound the klaxons, here come the Saxons.

I got my prostate examined, turns out I could get about 85 bucks for it.

This is your brain on catchphrases.