TootyBut2DButt

I’ve got a belly like a bowl full of triglycerides and cholesteryl ester.

Honk if you’re wet for Tibet.

The way things have been going recently we should cancel culture.

If there's no chips ima dip.

With great Austin Powers comes great Austin Responsibility.

Don’t swear unless it’s absolutely fucking necessary.

You look so good I could eat you, metaphorically of course. Then afterwards I’d metaphorically shit you out and take a shower.

Call your mother.

Public showers bring dick browsers.

There’s something so masturbatory about jerking off to your own erotica.

1 in the hand is worth 2 in the bush is not an excuse to piss into your hands.

I'm tired of dry humor, let's get some wet humor up in here.

Genghis Khan was a big-big mawn; he took over Asia and he had a lot of fawn.

You can pick your nose; thanks to the miracles of plastic surgery.

It's important to remember that one of your friends has shit themselves more than anyone else and just because they were a baby doesn't mean they shouldn't be ridiculed.

Question are thieves and statements are gifts?

The way this guy treats socks he’s not going to knock your socks off he’s going to knock them up.

Watch out, I’m about to deploy some referential humor that will knock your socks off.

My head canon is full of head cheese.

If millennials love eating ass so much why don’t they send me videos, I’m happy to give out my PO Box.

“The Pantys” is what millennials would call an internet award show for tired dogs.

I had an orgasm but unfortunately I lost it.

I’ll take cream, whipped cream is too kinky for me.

They call me the dog whisperer because I sneak up behind people and whisper the word dog in their ears.

After Steve Harvey started a diet where he didn't eat and made himself puke his friends are now calling him Heave Starvey.