TootyBut2DButt

My wife and I used to do a lot sixty nine-ing but unfortunately 10 years in we do a lot more ninety-sixing.

I wonder how cows feel about human milk.

I liked Zootopia but I preferred Zoot-topia that movie about the society of people that all wore zoot suits.

Somehow the combination of uh and huh means yes.

Computers hate it when you press CTRL, ALT, DELETE; fucks up their whole day.

I’m just trying to get some blood into my genitals.

Sometimes I worry some people really are just trying to get it wet, there’s more to life than it being wet.

If you think you’ve been waiting a long time for the second cumming of Christ just talk to Jesus’s wife, she hasn’t gotten laid in 2000 years.

This cream is topical which unfortunately means it's full of coronavirus.

If you love something, set it free, clearly explain your feelings and let it make a rational decision.

Please don't take photos of my pho toes.

Is ANYBODY horny!??

Thou shalt not kill, unless you really need to, for like a war or something.

Just say you’d like corned beef on your sandwich and stop describing it as rubinesque.

If you’re wondering why there aren’t any sour patch adults maybe you should stop eating their young.

I’ve been using earplugs for about a month but can still only fit the tiniest of dicks in my ears.

Don’t worry, I brought ear plugs, nose plugs and butt plugs.

She fucked me into Oblivion and then flipped me over and took me straight to Skyrim.

When it comes to safe sex the most important thing is not to get locked in the safe while you’re having sex.

I’m so horny I could cum.

A bonafide altruist, Gandhi was known to provide gas, grass AND ass to those in need.

There are no positive implications to saying “I’m about to take my dog to pond-town.”

Yeah, that's gonna be a no from me dog, I will not be adopting you.

Catch Freys? Who am I, Lady Stoneheart!!?

Put your ear to the ground and listen to the sounds of the ground, it sounds like ground.