TootyBut2DButt

If you're addicted to whales don't go to rehab, go to Ahab.

My dad butt dialed me and left me a message. It was a fart.

Bazinga, Bahumbug, Bahá'í Don't Know Anymore!

I’ll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle, if give you a dime if you fondle my lime, I’ll give you a quarter if you have sex with me.

Don't let the son go down on me, I'd prefer if the father did it.

Orange is red, violet is blue, colors are confusing, when you’re a dog.

They call me the buttler because I steal people’s butts.

Remember that time Kevin Spacey committed a sexual assault on a minor and then put out a video in character implying that we liked him too much to care? That was fuckin’ crazy.

I get butts in seats and re’s on tweets.

Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name and they’re always glad you came #friendly orgy

That man did nothing wrong. He tried to do nothing and he did it wrong.

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! Woah woah woah what's what's what's happening happening happening?

You catch more flies with honey, but flies are gross and metaphors are dumb.

It takes a shit to give a shit.

A sweater is better when the weather is wetter, but also it will make them titties looks great.