In Mexico Aquaman is called Auga muchacho.

[In Mexico Aquaman is called Auga muchacho.]

Spoiler

 

In Mexico Aquaman is called Auga muchacho.

[Did you know the 1979 song “Message In A Bottle” was originally called “Piss In A Bottle” but the name was changed after Sting realized no one wanted to hear a song about the time he peed in a bottle.]

Did you know the 1979 song “Message In A Bottle” was originally called “Piss In A Bottle” but the name was changed after Sting realized no one wanted to hear a song about the time he peed in a bottle.

[Hachi machi, where’s my hitachi!]

Hachi machi, where’s my hitachi!

[A car jacking is a very different crime in the Pixar universe.]

A car jacking is a very different crime in the Pixar universe.

[I want Luke Skywalker to force feed me.]

I want Luke Skywalker to force feed me.

[I've never saved a life with the Heimlich maneuver but I have saved countless lives with the HAIM-Lick maneuver.]

I've never saved a life with the Heimlich maneuver but I have saved countless lives with the HAIM-Lick maneuver. 

[After I mated with my bicycle I became a spokesperson.]

After I mated with my bicycle I became a spokesperson.

[While less misogynistic, off the body wet t-shirt contests are pretty boring.]

While less misogynistic, off the body wet t-shirt contests are pretty boring.

[I hate to make excuses about my penis but that’s why my nickname is Dick Caveat.]

I hate to make excuses about my penis but that’s why my nickname is Dick Caveat.

[Yankee Doodle went to town on that pony.]

Yankee Doodle went to town on that pony.  

[I got addicted to censoring films so I had to join MPAA.]

I got addicted to censoring films so I had to join MPAA.

[A good solution to gang violence would be to let Kool run more of them. How often have you heard about The Gang getting in trouble since Kool took over.]

A good solution to gang violence would be to let Kool run more of them.  How often have you heard about The Gang getting in trouble since Kool took over. 

[ISIS? More like cry-SIS, those guys are babies.]

ISIS?  More like cry-SIS, those guys are babies.

[I’m horny for New Zealand.]

I’m horny for New Zealand.

[It’s time for catchphrase submitters to unionize.]

It’s time for catchphrase submitters to unionize.

[Imagine if it really was raining men.]

Imagine if it really was raining men.

[In cum, in neck koala tea.]

In cum, in neck koala tea.

[This is CNN reporting that a child you never knew and never could have known has died in a horrible way. The tragicness of their death was only eclipsed by the tragedy that was their life. Feels sad, you sadness bitch.]

This is CNN reporting that a child you never knew and never could have known has died in a horrible way.  The tragicness of their death was only eclipsed by the tragedy that was their life.  Feels sad, you sadness bitch.

[Judas was a patsy.]

Judas was a patsy.

[You can't hear the actors on the recording? Did you try putting a microphone on the end of a long stick and holding it over their heads?]

You can't hear the actors on the recording?  Did you try putting a microphone on the end of a long stick and holding it over their heads?

[For every zoomer with a tumor there's a boomer with a lot of medical debt.]

For every zoomer with a tumor there's a boomer with a lot of medical debt.

[I just found out my wife has been faking her moon landings for years now.]

I just found out my wife has been faking her moon landings for years now.

[Turtlenecks were invented as a prank.]

Turtlenecks were invented as a prank.

["Things are getting pretty hot and heavy." said the man traveling to the dense molten core of the sun.]

"Things are getting pretty hot and heavy." said the man traveling to the dense molten core of the sun.

[Whoopsie, I accidentally left Jeff Bezos in space!]

Whoopsie, I accidentally left Jeff Bezos in space!