alfredosolisfuentes

It’s like I’ve always said. Every cup of coffee should be accompanied by a kiss in the tummy

Here’s my yearly reminder to McDonald’s to please kill off the character of Grimace and make it canonical that his soul has been obliterated so that he may no longer threaten the multiverse, which our own reality is a part of

Ball’s on your court, your honor. What are you gonna do, dunk me into jail? Yeah, I’d like to see a worthless worm like you try. Go die.

If you mess with Dafoe, you gotta go

Pac-Man has a Batman fetish

Grimace must die violently

This will now be the show’s permanent catchphrase. Thank you all for participating.

Beans, beans, they are good for your heart. The more you eat, the more your nose falls off your face, making you a deformed freak! Now, you’ll think twice before eating my beans.

All jokes aside, knock knock. *In case guest replies “who’s there?” respond with “jokes”. *If guest proceeds to ask “jokes who?” respond with “jokes put aside” *Keep these rules for every episode. Thank you for your consideration

Your ass is grass. My ass is dirt. Let’s put them together and make a tree.

Old people are like buttholes. Give me the gun.

Why is life a thing?

I’m not a man or a woman. I’m an influencer

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s my dad’s new girlfriend, Jenna the Marsupial

By the power vested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce myself Greasy Greg, Master of Sorcery.

If at first you don’t succeed that’s it

The pen is mightier than the sword but the sword has a bigger penis so who’s the real winner here?

The pen is mightier than the sword but the sword has a bigger penis so who’s the real winner here?

If at first you don’t succeed that’s okay. Making a dragon have an orgasm takes at least 3 tries

Adios is the new goodbye so adios, goodbye

I like my women like I like my toilets. I will not elaborate on this.

To be or not to be? Is that a shirt?

I’m going to say this once. My dad and I were in a teleporter accident and now we are literally attached at the hip. Can you help us?

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that’s assault. Call 555 PIE MOON to get legal advice on how to proceed.

Did you know whales have the shiniest buttholes in the sea kingdom?