alfredosolisfuentes

I like my women like I like my coffee. Full of internal organs

Did you get your nose hairs caught in a bicycle chain? There’s an app for that.

My neck, my back, lick my cat and give me a hat

A watched pot never boils but it does plan to kill your family the second you stop watching it so for the love of God keep your eyes on the pot!

Before I get any comments, no. Heath Ledger will not be our guest today. I don’t know why he won’t return my calls

I’ve said before and I’ll say it again: All horses are wizards

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Horses are wizards.

Jack the Ripper is canceled

Some say ducks rule, some say ducks suck. The only thing I know is that my son is possessed by a Duck Demon named Quackstopheles so can you please finish this exorcism aleady!

I’m not putting my hands in the air because I care, dammit!

Even in this day and age, it is very upsetting that Bugs Bunny is just a rabbit when he should really be a half-cockroach, half-bunny hybrid. Is there no justice in this world?

My neck, my back. I Love Lucy is real wack

In case you are wondering, yes, the walls are made of ham and I’m getting ready to go to licktown on them

If at first you don’t succeed, you owe me two jars of mayo and a dog who smokes. You signed the contract!

Here’s Johnny!

Rule number one: There are no rules. Rule number two: No mannequins

If his name is Woody Woodpecker, then my name is Penis Erectioncock

Rule number one: There are no rules. Rule number two: No mannequins