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4 NeutralAbout ShatteusPantswellTheTurd
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- Birthday 02/24/1994
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Location
San Antonio, TX
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Baby come back, you can spray it all on me. I was so wrong, thinking I could ever get it down smooth.
ShatteusPantswellTheTurd posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
I swear this isnât taking about what you think it is. Itâs about where one partner is depositing their stuff and how the other feels about it -
One of by Land, two if by âSee, I told you it was a bad idea to not send them by land AND sea, Karen! King George is gonna be super pissed and Iâll be dammed if I fall on the sword this time. And no, I donât care that Iâll have to raise the kids alone.â
ShatteusPantswellTheTurd posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Karen shouldâve fucking thought about it for even a second. Itâs her own fault. Does any one know the number to A good sitter? Or adoption agency? either one is fine at this point. -
Take the good, take the bad, take a poop, stanky hand... Siri, remind me to buy toilet paper.
ShatteusPantswellTheTurd posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Happens to the best of us. I mean It has to, right? -
Suffering from an acute case of âcouldnât find a fuck to give-a-tosisâ. Also pancreatic cancer.
ShatteusPantswellTheTurd posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
When it comes to unfunny cries for attention and barely disguised pleas for the help of a licensed professional, cancer jokes are the new ââblankâ is new blackâ-s. -
I took too long to take Tiu-Long to Take-Two. Long toot aches, too.
ShatteusPantswellTheTurd posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
This tooth ache wonât take tools, on to the taint, fool. Uncouth, the taint-tooling tooter took a Tuinal -
What if, for the next hour and a half, we just forgot about the fact that the world is full of horrible people intent on hurting anyone that they can, and listen to a man talk to interesting people? Thatâs whatâs up, hot dog.
ShatteusPantswellTheTurd posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Or maybe weâll all just drown in a sea of twitter hate and crawl so far up our own assholes that we can no longer function in any way and die a horrible, shit-in-our-ears death. Which is arguably not half as bad a death as we deserve. welcome to the show youâre listening to! (But donât read this part! Itâs just insane ramblings of a truly sick mind who is pretty certain he means well despite his inability to match his actions with his ideals/rhetoric.) -
Ever since I can remember, every scent I can re-members every cent I cannery member. Effort sent psyche an ream embers.
ShatteusPantswellTheTurd posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
the surest signs of an undiagnosed spectrum disorder Ever displayed by a person with a spectrum disorder that they thought may like a little brother, or like a pet, depending on the severity of the new one and the alpha/beta dynamic during feeding time.. I know my firstborn autism hates sharing the attention and lashes out, which may be what created this new contender for the title of heavyweight âreasons I canât make a relationship last longer than a season of âpick-a-show-and-make-itâs-season-half-as-long-as-it-is-And-then-air-it-all-in-a-2-week-period..â -
If only we could travel back in time, Iâd save myself the sheer, incomparable, soul-crushing agony that is a human life on planet earth. One more minute and that bee sting in preschool wouldâve caused anaphylaxis. At least we raised the price on epi pens.
ShatteusPantswellTheTurd posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Anaphylactic shock and AWWWW -
So I take it weâre not going to discuss the elderly gentleman furiously masturbating in the corner? I feel bad, heâs obviously on his final spank bank withdrawal. (Alzheimerâs is like a mortgage crisis for the spank banks of the elderly)
ShatteusPantswellTheTurd posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Thatâs what they get, screw the corporate money-monkeys, and their inability to stem the flow of subprime mortga-jizz flooding the market with folks unable to masturbate but with members more engorged than theyâve ever been.. now people are eating their dogs just to find something to jerk off to, just to justify the exorbitant 28% compounding interest rate on late-in-life Spank Bank loans/lines of credit.. Member FDIC(K) -
âSheâs so heavyâ, he thought to himself, as Lovely Rita ran and won the Hundred Meter, but made a mess out of Maxwellâs Silver Hammer-Throw.
ShatteusPantswellTheTurd posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Olympics? Oh-Limp-Dicks? Olâ-Pimp-Tricks? however you spell it, that shit cost me twenty grand. Never bet on a girl whose name rhymes with her menial law enforcement position and who unironically ran in the one Olympic event that could almost be used to make a shitty pun using some of her name and occupation and a descriptive adjective describing her appearance. maxwellâs silver hammer is his penis, by the way. Beatles are Charles mansonâs Inner demons