the constant pardner

The only Corona I want to hear about is the cool refreshing beer I drink on the beach. Also the coronavirus pandemic, so I can know how to act safely and responsibly to this health threat.

That new uptight manager at the Mexican Restaurant really takes the fun out of queso fundido, comprende?

Time waits for no man, but Tom Waits for snowman

Coronavirus? More like corona-bummer! I'm not a fan!

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang, and please pass the aux cord to your boy Scotty Aux-cord-erman aka the host of America's Podcast Comedy Bang Bang!

As Wichita Falls, so falls my Wichita balls. Mazel tov!

I'd rather be jacked off than jacked on!

We gotta make this happen!!

Bahahaha

there once was a young lad from burbank whose taint was quite nice but his fur stank he'd shampoo it at three but at four he would pee then at six it smelled like an old turd, rank

now my penis is quite long and spikey and it reaches way down to my nikes when i run in the sand i must hold it in hand then i soak it in Vaseline nightly

Fell asleep on the job I was stroking my knob Now my foreman is pissed Who, you ask? Foreman Bob!

Makin me a believa!

I'm Scott Soccermom, and I would like to spend the next hour telling you why I absolutely hate the post office and internet ordered mattreses

If wishes were horses, horse races would be a logistical nightmare what with all the gamblers wishing that their horse wins. The wish horses would probably interfere with the race.

Jerkin' ain't workin', that's why my balls are hurtin'

Anyone who falls asleep around my dominatrix is snoozin for a bruisin!

I think Jay Z was crazy to call Beyonce his fiancee. But what do I know, I just want to rock a feller.

I haven't seen so much shuttlecock since the time my faithless wife took up a gig driving the bus for the local single men's badminton team

Hot dog, is that ketchup?

Whose dick do I have to suck to get a piece of ass around here?

Holy guacamole, this pesto is the best, yo!